We meet people and with some, form an instant connection. They’re either our friends or more than just that. Different people at different stages in life. You spend time together, talk dime a dozen and before you know, they’re an indispensable part of your life. 

Until one day, you’re no longer in the same place.

Without really realising, you’ve moved on. Not to someone else in specific but to a whole new direction in general. 

Those friends don’t seem so dear anymore. That lover doesn’t incite the same feelings. Think as hard as you can but somehow, no specific reason comes to mind. Maybe it’s boredom. Maybe it’s a change in your personality. It could also be geographical distance that brings you miles apart from each other, emotionally. 

It’s just what it is. The best of equations can also fizzle out. You outgrow people or people outgrow you.  

Sometimes, when we grow up, we grow apart too. 

Distance is a funny thing. It creeps up without any warning whatsoever. 

You could be sitting in the same room and not feel a thing. Alternately, you could be miles apart and yet, be with each other. When has physical distance ever deterred emotions, right? On the other hand, when has physical proximity guaranteed an emotional one? 

Just like our minds and bodies, our emotions grow too. They start fledgling young and with every new experience, they manifold into something new. And sometimes, what we seek at a particular point of time isn’t what we want, a few years down the line. 

That friend you had in college who was unarguably your closest ally? You may find yourself not connecting with him in your late 20s. We’re all at different places at different points in life. And it’s only human to not relate to every possible connection, every single time. 

Do you then beat yourself for it? You don’t. You just let things take their own course. 

Not every equation is meant to last forever. As long as it does, make sure it’s a good one. When you grow out of if, gracefully let it go. 

We want different things at different stages in life. 

In school, a friend is someone who bunks classes with us. In college, our friends our to go out partying with. When we’ve stepped into work life, our friends sit with us at bar, drowning the collective sorrows during Happy Hours. By the time you’re in your 30s, friends are those who can advice you marital issues and meet for Sunday brunches. A bit of a generalization but you get the drift, right?

It’s the same for love. 

Amateur crushes in school turn into lust-fueled love stories in college. By the time you earn financial independence, love is all about sex and holidays, preferably at the same time. The ship in relationships only sets sail in your late 20s when family and society wants you to settle down, or start thinking about it at least. After taking the wedding vows, you need a practical person who can shoulder responsibilities just as comfortably as they can make you climax. 

A change in time brings in a change in your idea of emotions and equations. 

So, how can we expect our school and college bonds to stand the test of time when neither are we the same people, nor is our requirement the same anymore? 

The end of an equation isn’t always definite. 

A fight may not always happen. It might not be a heated altercation. Or, some miscommunication. In fact, there doesn’t have to be a clear-cut ‘end’ either. Some people just slowly fade out of your lives. At first, you don’t have enough time to meet. Then, calls become infrequent. Later, messages are just cryptic and mono-syllabic. And before you know, the person has faded out of your life. 

Do you miss them? Not really. But not because the bond wasn’t strong enough. But because you’re not the same person anymore. And neither are they. 

Time isn’t always a friend, after all. 

What do you do when you find yourself outgrowing a certain someone? 

Don’t do much. Let it be. Not that your doing something will help change things. If you want to do something, cherish what you had. 

Sometimes, you outgrow people. Sometimes, people outgrow you. It’s a very natural process. 

When you’re not the same person, year after year, how can you be with the same people, all the time?