It doesn't matter whether you're Angelina Jolie or a world champion mooli eater, there's come a time when you've had to hold in a fart. Our bodies are cruel mistresses, they betray us when we can least afford it. Unfortunately, it's not always appropriate to let one rip, unless you're an octogenarian of course, in which case do whatever the fuck you wanna do gramps!
As it turns out though, holding in a southern sneeze can have some pretty nasty effects on your body.
According to gastroenterologist Dr. Satish S.C. Rao -
"The gas in your gut is a mix of nitrogen, hydrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, methane and trace gases. Some of these, like hydrogen, methane and oxygen, can be absorbed by the gut, but nitrogen cannot be absorbed, and the body will find a way to get rid of it. Sooner or later, it’s going to come back at you—it’ll get stronger and stronger until the bowel vigorously contracts to overcome the anal sphincter resistance."
Basically, holding one in can lead to the building of a compound fart - which is a louder, smellier fart that's designed for total destruction.
That's not all though, 'cos it gets worse. Holding in a fart can also affect your breath in 1 of 2 ways.
The first (and better smelling) option is when gas is absorbed through the lining of the gut into the bloodstream, from where it makes its way to the lungs, and is finally exhaled.
The 2nd (and all the more horrifying) way involves gas bubbling up from your intestine and coming out as a burp so nasty it could knock out Mike Tyson.
This happens when you've eaten carb-heavy foods, which are fermented in the small intestine. There's no time for it to be absorbed by the gut, and instead, this fermented gas comes out of your mouth as a fart-burp, or as the police like to call it - probably cause.
Aren't our bodies wonderful?