Hey ladies, it’s quite obvious that creepy messages like nice pik dear and mujhse fraandship karoge must have popped up in your inboxes across social media platforms like a zillion times. Quite cringe-worthy, eh?

While some women keep ignoring such DMs for their own peace of mind, a few block/report them. Many of us also give a befitting reply to them. What on earth do they think before sending messages that creep the hell out of us or sometimes make us roll on the floor laughing? 

But honestly, if you are a woman and get DMs such as these, and are new to the replying game, follow my lead!

1: If they send cheesy (read cringy) lines for praising your beauty

Creepy DM: Breakfast mein dove soap khati ho kya?

Your reply: Swacch bharat hai to apne ghar mein hago, mere inbox mein failane ki zaroorat nahi hai.


2: If they comment about your body

Creepy DM: Hey, I like your visuals. Can we chat?

Your reply: My visuals get better from the inside of a police station.


3: If they ask for nudes

Creepy DM: Send nudes? 

Your reply: Mera leke kya karega, Shakti Kapoor ka lele.

Movie Studio

4: If they send a poetry or a song

Creepy DM: Jab se dekha hai teri aankhon mein jhaank kar koi bhi aaina achcha nahin lagta…(and some more crap).

Your reply: Aaina acha nahin lagta cos teri shakal aisi hai. How’s that my fault?


5: If they specifically demand a pussy photo

Creepy DM: Let’s see your pussy sweety.

Your reply: Dekh ke kya karega, tere naseeb nahin hogi kabhi.


6: If they send you a relationship-wala rishta

Creepy DM: I need a gf.

Your reply: Send this:


7: If they typ lyk dis

Creepy DM: If u dun mind…can i join you…as a frnd. I no…m unknwn to u bt till v dnt tok.

Your reply: Vimal thook ke baat kar le, bhai.


8: If they use sh**ty pick-up lines

Creepy DM: I hope you know CPR…because you take my breath away.

Your reply: Chal pehle CPR ki full form bata. Aur haan, cheating nahin.


9: If they show curiousity to know your caste

Creepy DM: Aap jaat ho kya g?

Your reply: Kyun shaadi karni hai kya bro? Galat jagah aaya hai, matrimonial sites dekh.


10: If they poke you to accept their friend request

Creepy DM: Add Friend Request. Add Friend Request

Your reply: Nahi yaar, anti-romeo squad wale peet denge, rehne de. Main UP se hoon.


11: If they wish to have romantic chat

Creepy DM: Romantic chat karogu?

Your reply: Jab add friend nahin kia toh why do you think, I will have a romantic chat with you?


12: If they refer online dating websites to get to know you

Creepy DM: Saw your profile on Tinder. Would love to know you more.

Your reply: Haan toh wait for me there, why are you texting me on Linkedln?


Don’t send us DMs if we don’t know you. We most likely don’t want to. We don’t care that you exist.