While the narrative of feminism has changed our society to a great deal, the residual culture of patriarchy still stands resolute.

This Humans of Bombay post about a woman- who saw her partner go from 'we'll start our own firm someday' to asking her to 'stop working because he was earning more than her anyway'- tells the story of a lot of women out there.

She and her partner met through a matrimonial site. On realising that their connect felt right and genuine, they decided to involve their families. However, his family had traditional expectations from her, even before they got married-

We weren’t even engaged & I was already being ordered to do things. They even wanted us to have kids in 2-3 months & wanted me to quit my job... His father had an image about his daughter-in-law in his mind & I had to fit in that.
Source: India Times

After the meeting with his family, when both of them sat down to discuss their future, he was a different person altogether-

When he returned a week later, we met to discuss the situation. But to my horror, the same guy who supported me before was now asking me to give up my career! Simply because of his parents... The final blow was when he asked me to stop working because he was earning more than me anyway.
Source: Times Of India

She decided to take a step back and call off the wedding, realising that there's no point in marrying someone, 'who changes his opinions just to appease his parents'.

Being true to myself was the most important thing for me. I’m the first woman in my family to have a job–I’m proud of who I am & what I’ve become. I need someone who respects that; someone who’s going to lift me higher, not pull me down.
Source: Gyfcat

It's a sad reality of our culture that the dichotomy of 'choice' given to women - shaadi or career, a remnant of patriarchy- still holds its ground. Yes, times are changing. But, the wave of revolution still needs to entrench how our society functions fundamentally.

Read the entire post here.

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“I connected with Anubhav through a matrimonial site. We decided to meet–we bonded well & spoke for 6 hours! Our offices were close by, so we‘d meet for chai breaks & after work too! Being with him felt natural–so we decided to take it ahead & tell our parents. His parents lived in Delhi, so we introduced our families there. But the minute we sat down, his father started off on how I needed to stop eating onion & garlic. I’d have to move to Delhi after marriage–I did know that at some point Anubhav wanted to live with his parents, but I thought it'd be our decision. They expected me to have dinner with them every day at 8 PM. I was stunned. We weren’t even engaged & I was already being ordered to do things. They even wanted us to have kids in 2-3 months & wanted me to quit my job! My mom couldn’t take it–I’d worked so hard for my career. But his father had an image about his daughter-in-law in his mind & I had to fit in that. His words shocked everyone. Eventually, we stepped out of the room to discuss everything. We called Anubhav out too–he understood our side & decided to speak to his parents. Once he did, he called me in. I requested his parents to give us space to make decisions as a couple, but his mom got offended. Things ended awkwardly & we left the next day. When Anubhav returned a week later, we met to discuss the situation. But to my horror, the same guy who supported me before was now asking me to give up my career! Simply because of his parents. He even said giving up onion & garlic wasn’t a big deal! The final blow was when he asked me to stop working because he was earning more than me anyway. Before he used to tell me that one day we’ll start our own firm & now he didn’t care about my career! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing… So, I stepped back & called it off. I couldn’t marry someone who changes his opinions just to appease his parents. I spent time thinking if I should have agreed to their terms, but being true to myself was the most important thing for me. I’m the first woman in my family to have a job–I’m proud of who I am & what I’ve become. I need someone who respects that; someone who’s going to lift me higher, not pull me down.”

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