This Humans of Bombay post about a woman- who saw her partner go from ‘we’ll start our own firm someday’ to asking her to ‘stop working because he was earning more than her anyway’- tells the story of a lot of women out there.

She and her partner met through a matrimonial site. On realising that their connect felt right and genuine, they decided to involve their families. However, his family had traditional expectations from her, even before they got married-

We weren’t even engaged & I was already being ordered to do things. They even wanted us to have kids in 2-3 months & wanted me to quit my job… His father had an image about his daughter-in-law in his mind & I had to fit in that.

After the meeting with his family, when both of them sat down to discuss their future, he was a different person altogether-

When he returned a week later, we met to discuss the situation. But to my horror, the same guy who supported me before was now asking me to give up my career! Simply because of his parents… The final blow was when he asked me to stop working because he was earning more than me anyway. 

She decided to take a step back and call off the wedding, realising that there’s no point in marrying someone, ‘who changes his opinions just to appease his parents’.

Being true to myself was the most important thing for me. I’m the first woman in my family to have a job–I’m proud of who I am & what I’ve become. I need someone who respects that; someone who’s going to lift me higher, not pull me down.

It’s a sad reality of our culture that the dichotomy of ‘choice’ given to women – shaadi or career, a remnant of patriarchy- still holds its ground. Yes, times are changing. But, the wave of revolution still needs to entrench how our society functions fundamentally.

Read the entire post here.