While the whole world is wasting their time arguing about the benefits (none) and downfalls (all) of ketchup, we’re sleeping on the real Queen of condiments.
That’s right folks, bow down to Mayonnaise
First off, I would just like to say there are two kinds of people in the world, those who like mayo and those who are liars. If you’re the latter, leave me be with my people where we celebrate the yummy goodness that is mayo.
Can you imagine your burgers, fries, salads, sandwiches, hot-dogs without mayo? What a dry and loveless life that is.
And how has no one realised how damn versatile this condiment is? There’s tandoori mayo, spicy mayo, mint mayo, BBQ mayo… I could go on and on about the types of mayos that exist. You can literally mix anything in mayo and it becomes a new sauce. What a wonderous thing.
You want more proof of its versatility? How about the fact that it actually does wonders for your hair.
Let’s talk about how mayo enhances the flavour of everything I combine it with. Not like ketchup that just masks any kind of taste with its red goopy-ness. I’d rather eat my fries with mayonnaise than ketchup any day.
Mayo is capable of making even boring veggies taste so good. Have you tried mayo and broccoli, fam? You haven’t lived then. Don’t talk to me or my veggie-mayo goodness.
After all this time, I’ve realised that all the hate for mayonnaise has nothing to do with its taste: it is because of the way it looks.
All you mayo haters need to move past what it looks like, grow up and realise that it is the best fucking thing out there.