13 Reality Checks That Happen When You Start Living Alone

Living alone is awesome fun! – No One Ever.

The excitement of moving out of your parents home and living alone fades as soon as a big chunk of your  salary goes into paying the kuda waala, press waala, kapde waala, tiffin waala, bartan waali , etc.Your whole living alone bucket list goes down the drain when reality hits you like a ton of bricks;

1. Expectation: No one will tell you what to do. You’ll finally taste freedom!

Reality: Your maid, the doodh waala and the kapde waala tell you exactly what to do.

And you don’t dare complain. Finding another one is as big a task as finding a job for yourself.

2. Expectation: You can stay out as late as you want to!

Reality: On the rare days when you do get free from work early, you have to come home and clean the mess that you left in the morning.

3.  Expectation: You can finally be independent and “stand on your own feet” like your parents always asked you to.

(Read pehle apne pairo par toh kharhe hokar dikhao).

Reality: You are always broke. Always!

4. Expectation: Your place will be the epitome of luxury and class.

Reality: It is the epitome of dirt and is actually pretty gross.

5. Expectation: You will join the gym or attend yoga classes and sort your life for good.

Reality: You end up waking up late because there’s no mommy for the constant wake up calls.

6. Expectation: House parties. Aww yeah…

Reality: Your neighbours start complaining about “noise” even if your T.V is a bit loud.

7. Expectation: No one will interfere with your life and you’ll finally get some personal space.

Reality: No one interferes in your life, but on a lot of days, your maid is the only human contact you manage to get throughout the day.

8. Expectation: You will be your very own master chef and cook scrumptious dishes for yourself.

Reality: Maggi.

9. Expectation: You’ll be the cool one among your friends. Living alone and all you know…

Reality: Most of the time, you’re just bored. Really, really bored.

10. Expectation: You will build for yourself the greatest wardrobe ever.

Reality: Er. Your floor is your wardrobe.

11. Expectation: You don’t have to take turns or wait for taking a shower.

Reality: Who needs a bath? You are awesome anyway!

12. Expectation: You will finally get to spend some time with “that special someone.”

Reality: You do spend time. But on the internet. Alone. For hours.

13. Expectation: You will have the whole house to yourself.

Reality: You really do have the whole damn house to yourself. FTW!

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