We know that people have different bowel patterns but a Reddit user had an epiphany when he realised his family tradition of using a ‘poop knife’ wasn’t normal at all.
A poop knife. You read it right.
A Reddit user who goes by the name LearnedButt shared that his family usually takes a huge dump which makes it difficult to flush. And that’s where a ‘poop knife’ comes into play.
He wrote:
My family poops big. Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. You cut the poop into smaller more flushable pieces then nudge it toward the hole.
He believed it was normal for families to have a poop knife until one day when he used a friend’s toilet and asked for a poop knife. Quite naturally, his friend was baffled and started laughing at this bizarre term.
He wrote:
It turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my fucked up family with their fucked up bowels. FML.
Here’s his full post:
My family poops big. Maybe it’s genetic, maybe it’s our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won’t flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you.
He further wrote:
Fast forward to 22. It’s been a day or two between poops and I’m over at my friend’s house. My friend was the local dealer and always had ‘guests’ over, because you can’t buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it’s a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife.
And the best part is when his wife got to know about it!
I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn’t cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes.
Well, well.