Indian news reporting is often assumed to be of Sansani standards throughout, but that’s not true. It can be worse.
Here are things only an Indian news reporter can say.
When they interview a politician
1. ” Your party is corrupt! “
2. ” Show me your bank account details! “
3. ” What have you ever done for the people? EVER? “
4. ” Answer! Answer now! People are watching! “
When they cover cricket
5. ” Indian team is the best! “
6. ” Indian team is the worst! “
7. ” Dhoni is the best captain! “
8. ” Dhoni is the worst captain! “
9. ” Yuvraj rocks! “
10. ” Yuvraj sucks! “
11. ” Sachin is GOD! “
12. ” Sachin is GOD! “
When they cover other sports
13. ???
When they cover news
14. City hit by typhoon
” Haan, toh kaisa lag raha hai aap ko? “
15. Family killed in an accident
” Haan, toh kaisa lag raha hai aap ko? “
16. Man wins lottery
” Haan, toh kaisa lag raha hai aap ko? “
17. Man drowning in the sea
” Haan, toh kaisa lag raha hai aap ko? “
18. Woman drowning in the sea
” Jaan ki baazi laga denge madam ji ke liye! *Jumps* “
When they create news
19. ” Dekhiye kaise ashleelta parosi jaa rahi hai ! “
20. ” Suniye ye kamaal ka chutkula ! “
21. ” Ye bhains nahi alien hai ! “
The opening line to every report
22. ” Jaisa ki aap dekh sakte hain! “
And every case Rajat Sharma ever fought
23. ” Aap hotey hain ba-izzat bari ! “
P.S. This post is like happiness. You share it. It’ll grow.