Thank You, Coconut Oil. The ‘Holi’ Liquid That Saves Me From Permanent Pink Face Every Year

Ira Shukla

I am not a big fan of Holi, but whenever I have taken part in the celebrations, I have had my best friend by my side.

Actually, literally on my body.

That sounds wrong – but I am talking about coconut oil. 

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Coconut oil is magical. 

You put it and it forms a shield on your skin that stops those harmful colours from entering your bloodstream and causing cancer (that isn’t true lol, just the usual WhatsApp forward from mom).

It does act as a great protective layer, though, and helps you from looking like a canvas painted by a toddler.

You need that, too, considering how we play Holi in India. Hint: It DOES NOT look like this.

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‘Play’ is the wrong word to use here, actually. ‘Play’ is cute.   

You ‘play’ ludo.

You ‘play’ kho kho.

Some people ‘play’ with others’ feelings. You know? That kinda sweet stuff.

Holi is an adventure sport, which you ‘perform’. And for that, you need a safety net. Or like, a ‘parachute’?

And the trick is simple. Just bathe in it.

None of that ‘lemme massage it’ business. You just open the bottle, pour it and then step out.

After that, you just have to hope that it will absorb all the colours. 

Of course, there is a limit to everything. Don’t expect it to be helpful if you have 15 layers of gulaal, toothpaste and that fucking silver paint on your body. 

But like, normal things should be okay.

Brb, going to restock my nariyal tel supply. Sab Holi mein khatam ho gaya.

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