Walking in through college gates, lugging five heavy suitcases behind you, the years ahead in college might seem daunting with the destination far away. But before you know it, graduation is here! Cue – Convocation, happy clapping parents and diplomas that are handed out as a reminder of what you’re an expert at (though that might be debatable).
What we actually learn thoroughly in college are basic survival and very important life lessons that stick with us throughout.There should be an award for learning to survive for years on only Ramen noodles and writing dissertations in a frenzy of high panic and stress, three nights before submission is due.
Distractify came up with some pretty honest diplomas that every student should get.
1. Learning foolproof ways to dodge sleep at crucial moments.
This explains the glassy eyes and vacant looks during lectures.
2. Bartending skills
The general know-how on how to drink vodka which tastes like nail polish remover.
3. How to survive nature’s onslaught
On a cold winter’s night when your blanket isn’t keeping your feet warm enough, reach for the bottle.
4. Forming friendships that survive
Easy way to figure out who your ‘real’ friends are.
5. Survival on sparse food resources
Because Ramen comes to aid when the college cafeteria cooks cabbage for dinner.
6. How to cohabitate
Because we all need lovin’ but roommates.
7. To tide over uncertain situations with confidence
Question: “What ended in 1896?”
Answer: “1895?”
8. Learning godspeed
The story behind every student’s dissertation.
.Words we wouldn’t have used without a college education
Also, “thereby” and “hence” to name a few more.
Image Source: Kristi Olberding for Distractify