“Each relationship represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
It happens a little too often in my life, that I come across people who seem like the perfect fit for my life. Like the perfect piece of the jigsaw puzzle, they seem to brilliantly fill a void in my life (even those that I didn't know existed till they arrived). But like anything that exists in our universe, circumstances change. Our lives change. And with this rapid change, we tend to miss out on people who could have been the missing puzzle pieces in our lives.
It's not like they turn into horrible people who are a shadow of their past. It's just that we tend to let our laziness come in our way of maintaining the relationship we had with that person.
It also has a lot to do with the ego that creeps in with changing times. You know, it's a mixture of ego, not being a mature person in general and also not valuing the other person as much as you should. It also has a lot to do with the fact that we fail to pay attention to the needs of the other person. It is definitely not impossible, but it's difficult. And our complacency gives way for our relationship.
I'm sorry, but that happened to me too. I know we initially bonded over the fact that we're both lazy AF but this one trait led to us parting ways. Maybe your intentions weren’t to be hurtful and leave that person out of the loop, but that person probably becomes an afterthought. Regardless, it sucked then.
Someone who shared in my little joys, upsets, and was always the compassionate shoulder to lean on, had grown into an acquaintance, ultimately a stranger.
Maybe life had different plans for us but we definitely grew up to be different kinds of people altogether. If a person who was once my partner, could suddenly stop being that, what’s to say that won’t happen with everyone else I create a similar bond with?
Is creating a deep bond with other folks even worth it? I'm glad that I decided to act against these instincts and keep getting into relationships. And now even when my love-life is up and running, I always miss that one person who still makes me feel regret over losing.
Here’s the thing. Maybe the fact that we don’t speak for weeks or months on end after the relationship is part of what contributes to the unusual nature of our new found 'friendship'. Maybe the fact that no matter what, I can count on you to be there if I need you, but I don’t always need you, is what makes us special. This is to say that I wouldn’t die without you, but I wouldn’t want to live without you either.
I'm sorry I didn't call you enough or I just couldn't get myself to text you that often. But I promise; every time we meet, it's going to be magic all over again.
The depth of our relationship is hardly what it once was when she and I were both four years younger, but to see her a few nights ago and be able to say that she was in fact, an ex, makes me smile just a little. And maybe that's where the beauty of it lies.
We all make mistakes in our lives. Some mistakes keep bothering us for a long time and our failure to keep the love of our lives with us is at the top of that list. We don't need each other all the time, but we make each other's lives a tab bit better. Maybe we should hang our a little more often and then things can be much better than what they've been.
I've built mazes around you to give my aimless wandering some purpose.