Time is a bit of a dick. It gets everyone eventually, but it royally screws over some people, while gently cradling along the others. Just ask Benjamin Button, or if you’re not in the mood for inter-dimensional TV travel, you could just take a good look at Leonardo DiCaprio. The superstar’s face, for some inexplicable reason, has remained the same, since the release of his debut movie right up to this day. Don’t be fooled by the beard and the cigarettes and the supermodels. Hiding under that smokescreen is a 16-year-old face that refuses to obey the laws of, well, anything really.
Check it, and try not to wreck it!
1. Critters 3 (1991)
A wee little 16-year-old Leo, all ready for the acting business!
2. What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993)
“You never go full retard.”
3. The Basketball Diaries (1995)
Young Leo getting shit on in the Requiem for a Dream of the 90s.
4. Romeo and Juliet (1996)
He got taller! No such luck for his face though, that obstinate son of a gun!
5. Titanic (1997)
You could literally Photoshop his face from Critters 3 on here and it’d be exactly the same.
6. The Man in the Iron Mask (1998)
If Jared Leto and Leo could somehow have a baby, their kid would be the key to eternal youth. No doubt.
7. The Beach (2000)
And there he goes, reverse-ageing again!
8. Catch Me If You Can (2002)
OOH! Is that a shadow of a whisker I see? Nah, it’s just a stray eyelash on my computer screen.
9. The Aviator (2004)
It doesn’t matter if you’re flying war-planes or chewing Gummy Bears, you’re still gonna look the same age man!
10. The Departed (2006)
I’m definitely seeing some heaviness in the eyes here. More of an internal-age than an external-age indicator, but it’s something!
11. Revolutionary Road (2008)
Oh for fuck’s sake! Goddammit!
12. Inception (2010)
Maybe he doesn’t age because his face is actually a face within a face within a face within a…
13. Django Unchained (2012)
That pipe isn’t fooling anyone you baby-faced bastard!
14. The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)
I count three lines on his forehead. That’s it! Those are all the lines that his entire face can accommodate.
15. The Revenant (2015)
Yes! He did it! He grew a neck-beard! The man is human after all!
The fountain of youth ain’t cheap, which is why he joined the movie business! Anyway, in parting, here’s a picture of baby Leo in 1974 for you to fawn over.
