In the light of things that are happening in society right now, it becomes our responsibility to put an end to anything and everything that the government deems ‘inappropriate’. Now that NDTV India has been banned for a day over their anti-national activities and a huge section celebrating the muffling of a free media house, it gives us a much larger picture to ponder upon. 

If questions make us uncomfortable, will the government ban them?

I’d like to extend this logic to our daily lives and ask the government to ban all my past teachers because they’ve made me very uncomfortable in the past. So much so, that I’ve been extremely offended at all the difficult questions asked to me. 

If students are the future of our country, and a teacher makes them uncomfortable; is it not putting the future of our society at risk? And hence, aren’t the teachers a huge threat to national security?

I remember my school days when I loved going to school and having a blast with my friends. Back then, we didn’t indulge in explosive conversations about politics, religion, or gender and maybe that’s why we were conditioned by our teachers to . Anyway, that case aside; teachers made my life miserable in school. 

Every time I felt like my school-life was going great, there was always a ‘unit-test’ or a weekly test staring right into my innocent soul. And to make matters worse, teachers would ask me really difficult questions in those tests and that would put my well-being in danger because if didn’t score well, my mom would beat the living day-lights out of me. 

This problem caused a lot of problems as I grew up to be a guy who was afraid of being questioned about what I believed in or the activities I indulged in. I couldn’t even call a certain subject useless because then the teacher would give me a test that I’d failed miserably. Can an individual not make assumptions with little-to-no knowledge about the subject matter?

This has given me a case of serious PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). I recently saw a video on live-television about a few JNU students who were shouting anti-India slogans. I (obviously) took to social media to showcase my anger with expletives targeted at these so-called students (who have achieved a lot more academically than most of our members of the Parliament, but who cares!) only to be asked questions by a few liberals on my friend-list. 

Little did they know that their questions brought back all my hurt emotions to the forefront. My feelings were hurt and my teachers had not been brought to justice. 

And how the fuck have these so-called well-learned individuals made a career out of asking questions? They are a threat to our beliefs and ideas. 

We need to put an end to this rising culture of asking questions. We already live in a brittle bubble fueled by our low self-esteem and you want these groups of people who ask uncomfortable questions to burst it? Why are you doing this to us? We don’t want facts or rationality; but comfort and general misinformation.

Let’s ban these teachers. We don’t like their questions; maybe a few ‘chamchas’ do but largely, we hate being interrogated with stuff that we don’t want to know or believe in. Can the government please take this plea seriously and hand a one-day ban on teachers too.   

Author’s note: Teachers need to ask questions to help us better ourselves. Students need to ask questions to better the entire education system. Asking questions is not an assault on national interest, but it’s the only way a democracy can function.  It’s obvious that this is a satire, so you shouldn’t get offended if your IQ is in double digits.