It’s that time of the year when the lucky few get the appraisals they want and pretty much everyone else wants to shift jobs. So, they go on Linkedln or other websites that really suck, to try their luck. 

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If you have a great CV, recruiters will approach you and all will feel right with the world once again. You will have nice chat, sometimes they will even call you (HRs are out of touch, they don’t know we only like texting). Then you will find out what the job entails. 

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That will then result in you receiving an assignment that you will give your life to complete to the best of you abilities. 

Then, they either ghost you or come back to you with an offer. The only problem being, more often than not, the salary they are prepared to give you will not be, for the lack of a better word, unsatisfactory. 

Actually f**k it. I will just say it. It will suck your soul out faster than a dementor on steroids. And you will be left wondering “Why in the f**k did I bust my a** to do that assignment? Why didn’t they just mention the damn salary upfront?”

The answer to that is rather simple. They are shortsighted corporate A-holes, with their heads shoved so far… 

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that want you to do every single job they can fit into your designation and pay the least amount of money they can. 

This is precisely why companies and recruiters need to post remuneration on their job postings. It’s 2022. Why are you being such gigantic pricks and wasting our time?  

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Just tell us what you are willing to pay upfront and we will see if we want to work with you for that money? 

But hold on, if you ever have the misfortune of confronting them with that question, they will come back at you with, WeLl, We DoN’t WaNt PeOpLe WhO oNly WoRk FoR moNeY!

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Oh well, why the f**k do you think we work? You think we like slaving away our youth in pursuit of perfecting Microsoft Excel? What is wrong with you? 

Everyone including you, is doing this for the mullah. There’s literally nothing more to it. It’s a job, not a hobby. We are doing this for the money. Or we would be sitting at home scrolling through Netflix, falling asleep before deciding what to watch. 

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How do you not get this? Are you stupid? Did yo mama drop you on your head as a baby? Oh, wait a minute, it’s because, and I am just spitballing here, you were born rich and this is a hobby for you. 

Hey, don’t act surprised. I am not using my powers of clairvoyance, I have just happened to have met a lot of you in this line of work. We know who you are. You don’t have to pay rent, you probably even have a driver, who you also don’t pay well. 

Get your sh*t straight. We are in 2022. In a country like India where a majority of the 900 million people in the workforce aren’t even looking for jobs, you need us. We are the commodity and we are in high demand. You want us to supply, start telling us how much you are willing to pay. 

FoLloW yOuR pAsSiOn! Chup bey!

Because don’t know if you have noticed, but look around, business ain’t boomin’ no more. And we don’t want to be wasting our breath on rich A-holes who think people should only work for their passion. See, you stupid pricks, we actually have got rent to pay.