Before we go into details. The HR is not your friend. They look that way but much like your cat, they will scratch you every chance they get. But they are at their worst when you are just applying for a new job. So keep all this in mind and choose wisely. 

1. If the HR hesitates to tell you your in-hand salary, you’re about to get screwed with. 

Always, always ask for the exact amount they will go into your account every month, after the taxes and the PFs and million and one schemes. Just ask how much cash you can withdraw at the end of the month. 

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2. If your interviewer has somehow told you they can afford you but the HR is still hassling, just thank them for their shithousery and run away. 

Human Resources people have a weird habit of negotiating salaries like they are buying Dhania Mirchi, even if they have been allotted the budget. If you find an HR do that, then no matter how good your workplace is, it will inevitably be an unsatisfactory experience. 

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3. If they don’t give you any clear reasons as to why there is a vacancy, that’s a bad sign. 

While they are not obligated to tell you, it is your responsibility to do your research and ask the HR for some clarity and if you find them to be dishonest, then it’s a sign that if your employer messes up, the HR will be there to clean it, no matter what happens to you. 

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4. Ask them about sexual harassment guidelines and if they comply with POSH training, etc. 

If they seem dodgy about that, that’s your cue to get away from that place as quickly as possible because they don’t have any system to address workplace harassment and there will no accountability from anyone, if something were to happen. 

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5. If they ask any questions about your gender or sexuality and keep pestering about it in subtle or not-so-subtle ways, that’s a sign of toxic workplace environment. 

You are most likely to get harassed in places where even the HR isn’t educated enough to understand professionalism. 

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6. If the HR keeps saying YES to everything you say without going into details, they are most likely not listening to you. 

Don’t be naive. If they readily agree to give you everything you want then they are allowed to give you more and they are planning on underpaying you. So, don’t fall for it. 

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7. If the HR is hurrying you into signing any documents, don’t. 

HR people exist to serve the management and not actual humans, as their title suggests. They are capable f enforcing subtle changes as and when the management wants, none of which you can find out until it actually comes out of the wood to bite you in the behind. And whem you confront them about it, they will just show you your own signature. 

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8. Asking salary history of the employee and fixing the pay based on past salaries is a bad HR practice. 

It’s common practice in this country but anywhere with slightly stronger labour laws, this is considered extremely unprofessional and is frowned upon. The HR doesn’t need to know your previous salary to know your worth. They knew how valuable you are when they interviewed you. 

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9. Always ask about holidays and leaves you are entitled to. If the HR doesn’t give you exact details, they are going to make you work on holidays. 

You won’t know if you don’t ask. Be smart. HR exists to make things run smoothly for the company, no matter what they have to do, even if that means accomodating an extremely toxic work environment. 

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10. Ask when you get your salary. Some companies pay you by the end of the month, some a little later but you need to ask WHEN! Also, ask about appraisals and how much they normally give to employees.

If you can’t get a clear answer for either of those of questions, you’re gonna get uberboned. 

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In short, don’t trust the HR. Their only pop culture representation is this guy. 

Looper