Have you guys been on Indian Linkedln? It’s a cesspool of tech bros, CEO mindset idiots who have this very distorted idea of what they think is cool. Don’t you just want to yell that them? Well, I sure do. So I did.
1. Post stories about how you had the money, but still ‘bargained’ with the candidate to hire them for a lower CTC.
It’s very simple. If you have been allocated the resources to hire people, use that, and pay your candidate what they are worth. You are not trying to buy dhania mirchi here. You might think it makes you look cool since you are saving the company some money, but anyone reading this would simply take a swing at you if it were legal to do so. Oh, and they don’t want to do anything with you, your jobs or your company after reading your posts.
2. Make random polls asking if interns should be paid.
They should be. Interns work incredibly hard. The least you can do is compensate them for it. It’s 2022. That’s not up for debate anymore. Unpaid internships are scams for free labour.
3. Flirt on Linkedln.
Don’t do it, man. And yes, it’s men. Not even mostly. It’s just men. It’s not Tinder. Hell, it’s not even Instagram. People are trying to find a livelihood here. Ain’t nobody got time for your horny a**. It’s unprofessional and not to mention, incredibly creepy.
4. Boasting about doing something basic, like giving maternity leaves.
You are already supposed to be doing that. It’s like boasting about how you just started loving your mother and treating her with respect. You were already supposed to.
5. Posting ‘inspirational’ stories with you at the centre of it.
Look, it’s great if you are an employee. Everyone is happy about what you have managed to achieve. But if you are an employer, 9/10 people who read that crap know you had a solid base to build on. You had the funding and the social capital, courtesy of your parents’ station in life. You are fooling nobody.
6. Bragging about how you let a deserving candidate go due to something insanely trivial and calling it gut instinct.
More often than not we see these stories of how managers would let deserving candidates go because they made that one mistake or they were wearing something the interviewer didn’t like or they had a tattoo. It’s obnoxious, you nerd. Get a life. And while you are at it, see a doctor about removing that stick from up your arse.
7. Constantly posting about ‘hustle’ culture and how much you love people who go above and beyond their line of duty.
People go above and beyond their line of duty because you have created a toxic environment where your employees feel like they can’t succeed unless they kill themselves on the job. I know, you are a bit slow, so I will give it you straight. Stop glorifying work environments that compel workers to spend every second of their life thinking about work. They have a life. Let them live it.
By age 30, your circle of friends should be talking about how hustle culture is a scam and how to unionize their workplace https://t.co/eSpAYe6l04— Meg is a Gold Medal Killjoy 🥇 ☕️🇨🇦🇺🇸 (@KilljoyMeg) April 26, 2022
8. If you constantly post job openings for the same position…
Well, that’s a red flag anyone can see from a mile. See, that means, you keep hiring people and they keep leaving and most people leave because their managers are total pricks.
9. If you keep posting random WhatsApp forwards, people you are connected with will know you are unreliable.
So many people on Linkedln will just share ‘inspirational’ photos with stories on them that everyone and their mother can see are fake. So stop sharing WhatsApp forwards, nobody is buying those ridiculous stories and the fact that you do is a signal to potential employees about what kind of a person you are.
10. Troll people who don’t agree with you.
This part is specifically for Indian Linkledln, which on weekdays looks like a family WhatsApp group. Anybody with a difference of opinion is trolled, called names etc. Don’t do that. This is not Twitter. You shouldn’t care about people eating vegetarian or meat. It literally doesn’t matter, not on this platform.
Look, people will still look for jobs and they still might work for you but sooner than later, all this crap is going to catch up to you and your reputation will go down the gutters.