Indian weddings are basically like a circus. You have the typical traditional festivities taking place in a carefully curated way, with everyone having a stereotypical part to play. From the over-friendly uncle to the meddling aunty, there is something for everyone. But where does shit actually go down during Indian weddings?
Disclaimer: We don't endorse drunk driving.
Is it at the pheras? The dance floor? Na. The best part of any Indian wedding is actually the Car-o-Bar. The dikki of a Fortuner or an Endeavor, anything big enough to house an ice box and a hookah (for those who think the air isn't enough). Remember the wedding from Vicky Donor? Basically that.
No Matter What's Your Poison, It's Here
From whiskey to gin and even Jägerbomb, this Car-o-Bar is versatile in every single way. It comes free with a desi DJ who is basically just in it to impress the ladies and a wannabe bartender who thinks he invented vodka cranberry. This is the same car that slowly drives alongside the baraat so all the baraatis can sneak in two sips and then go back to dancing with the fam.
Dulha, Dulhan & Dikki Are Ready Way In Advance
The preparation begins months in advance. While the dulha and dulhan are looking for wedding venues and outfits, the cousins and friends are busy scouting for the person with the biggest dikki. The perfect moment to sneak away from the function is also decided in advance, somewhere between when the dance performances end and before the dinner buffet begins.
Car-o-Bars Are More Promising Than Tinder Dates
Apart from the millennials, overprotective mothers often reach this forbidden part of the parking lot looking for their 'unwed' daughters who aren't around to meet successful prospects. Because shaadi is the best time to meet a boy. If you think there is a boy who's caught your eye, meet him in the parking lot to have a drink and get to know each other better.
Sneaking Away Makes It More Fun
It is also the perfect way to escape judgy uncles and aunties who think you're too young to drink, unko yeh illusion mubarak ho. You can also sneak in chicken in this forbidden car if the wedding is vegetarian.
From Tissues To Deodorants, The Car Has It All
The Car-o-Bar also comes in handy when the open bar is khalaas or you want to stay sanskari in the eyes of relatives who don't really matter. But be sure to grab some mints that the Car-o-Bar organiser has so kindly stocked up, apart from wet tissues and bottles of deodrant.
Whiskey Goes In, Gossip Comes Out
But my favourite part of this dikki is that this is where all the family secrets come out in the open. Because your chacha ki bhatiji has gossip that can't stay in her stomach if its sharing space with whiskey and that's what loving your family is all about.
So thank you, to the person who becomes the bali ka bakra and sacrifices their car every shaadi to make sure no one goes back home sober. Thanks for giving drunk girls in high heels a seat and men with whiskey breath an Orbit. You will always be invited.