Have you ever bought something that you know you didn’t need, but still wanted with all your being? One of those products that are disgustingly pricey, but they’d look just perfect on your wall, or some such. Well that’s the emotion certain companies bank on when they’re producing some of the most uselessly expensive things in the world. Consumerism – you insidious beast.
1. The Tequila Ley .925 Diamanté – $3.5 million per bottle
Dubbed ‘The Diamond Sterling’, this 1.3 liter tequila bottle is made from 2 kilos of platinum and 4.100 perfect white diamonds. The design follows a dragon theme, and while the ‘flask’ itself is devastatingly expensive, the actual tequila inside it retails for just $52.99 a bottle.
2. Stupak Party Planning – Up to $1 million per party
This Las Vegas based luxury event management service caters to the cream of the crop, which means they’ll sort you out with everything from tandem jets to chefs who run Michelin star restaurants catering to you. They even threw a million-dollar bachelor party, and their base packages start at around $50,000.
3. Dreamlight Pro Sleep Mask – $300
Who needs a regular black cloth over their eyes to sleep on a flight when you can get this futuristic contraption instead? This mask uses your DNA to create custom sleep recommendations. It also uses light therapy technology and facial pressure analysis to give you better sleep.
4. Beverly Hills 9OH2O Water – $100,000 per bottle
Described as the world’s first ‘Master Crafted’ water, this hydration experience comes in a suitcase, and the bottle itself is topped off with a 14-carat diamond cap. The water itself is apparently the perfect blend of minerals to pair with fancy food. Imagine spilling some!
5. The Pearl Royale Vibrator – $1.3 million
This vibrator is made of solid platinum and bejeweled with pink and white diamonds, blue sapphires, and South Sea pearls. Million dollar orgasms, guaranteed.
6. Floating Foam Clouds – $9000
SmileCloudsUSA makes a biodegradable soap solution mixed with water that shoots floating foam clouds into the sky in whatever shape you want, from hearts to proposals. Considering the price, I’d rather use a balti and detergent.
7. Gold Toilet Paper – $1.3 million
Australian company Toilet Paper Man sells these luxury rolls of toilet paper made of 24-karat gold. They also the give the buyer a bottle of champagne. Damn, wiping is expensive.
8. The Diamond Is Forever Cocktail – $20,000
Served at the Ritz Carlton in Tokyo, this cocktail is essentially made up of Grey Goose vodka with a lime twist. What makes it so expensive is the 1-carat diamond that’s used as a garnish.
9. Hot Tub Boat – $25,000
It’s a hot tub, and it’s also a boat. The Hottug is an electric, self-drive, wood-fired hot tub that you can take out on a lake while soaking in some hot water inside. They don’t really have jets or bubbles or any of those cool things though, so the market for this is pretty much microscopic.
10. MacDaddy’s Million Dollar Fishing Lure – $1 million
This 12-inch fishing lure is made with almost 2 kilos of 14-karat gold and platinum, and the outer shell contains 4753 diamonds and rubies. Something smells fishy…
As useless as a lot of this is, I would probably have bought some of it if I had millions to spare.