Dear men, we need to have a conversation. I know you think you have figured out how sex works; but honestly, a lot of you seem to be lacking knowledge in certain departments.
It’s never too late to learn, though. And so, here is the list of things women wish men knew about sex. You’re welcome.
1. Most importantly of course, take consent.
When a verbally says no, obviously you stop right then. But otherwise too, watch out for any signs of discomfort. Be perceptive to her body language.
2. Don’t rush it.
On most ocassions, women take some time to get fully aroused. They have to be in the right mood and for that to happen, you have to learn to go slow.
3. Things don’t end the moment you have an orgasm.
Let me be the one who breaks this to you, when it comes to sex, things aren’t over just because they are over for you.
4. Just because something works on one woman, doesn’t necessarily mean it will work on another.
Everyone has a different rhythm, different erogenous zones. Find them, explore them.
5. Keep it hygeinic.
Brush your teeth, shower properly, shave *you know where*.
6. Keep your porn fantasies aside.
This one is a strict no. Porn is a visual medium, where often things are orchestrated, choreographed, and planned. You can’t have the same expectations from your partner.
7. Ask them about their pain threshold when getting into spanking, biting and that sort of stuff.
You don’t want your partner to be in so much pain, they can’t feel any sort of pleasure.
8. Talk, but not too much.
There is nothing like sweet nothings during the act, but don’t go full conversation mode. Leave that for later.
9. Oral sex is just as important.
There are women who don’t particularly enjoy it, and that’s okay, but for the others, it is just as crucial as penetrative sex. You don’t have to ‘go in’ every time to make it pleasurable for your partner.
10. Be gentle on the genitals.
They are very sensitive and get sore. Besides, it’s not even pleasurable when you mindlessly use your fingers with excitement.
11. Stop chasing orgasms obsessively.
Hers, and especially yours. Obviously, it would be ideal to climax, but sometimes it just can’t happen. Don’t beat yourself up for it and definitely don’t keep going just because ‘it needs to happen’.
12. Sometimes, it’s better not to test how ‘deep it can go’.
It hurts! Stop doing that. Focus on the technique rather than depth.
13. The clit is quite easy to find, but if you can’t, just ask.
It’s better than running your fingers around aimlessly.
14. We love to hear you moan.
15. Be open to feedback.
It’s not that what you were doing was wrong, it’s just that didn’t work for the woman. That’s cool, right? You should appreciate she is being honest.
16. For the millionth time: FOREPLAY.
Imagine this: You guys are drinking wine, talking, having a good time and you feel the sexual tension growing. Great! And then, suddenly the guy starts rubbing your clit. That’s not the order, my love. In some situations, it might work, and you have to figure that out; but mostly, go slow. Kiss her with intention, play around a bit, bite her neck – so on and so forth.
17. Sex happens on the bed (or whatever works for you), but it doesn’t hurt to make the mind start working before that.
Send her texts and if you’re together, let her know you want her. It’s hot.
18. Cut those goddamn nails.
You should do that in general too, but especially if you’re going to get intimate with someone. You don’t want to cut things up inside.
19. Sex toys can be good.
Don’t make using sex toys an ego thing. They add to the fun. Talk to your partner about it.
20. Tell us when you’re about to climax.
It’s hot and also, like, one should?