There’s few feelings as harrowing as walking to your electricity meter at the end of a summer month. You hope against hope that maybe the AC was simply running on magic and a few whispered compliments.
Then you see it, you calculate your bill, and hope your phone is just bad at math.
But no such luck.
You’re cursed to spend another miserable month tickling your own sweat glands, fleetingly putting on the AC for a few moments and worst of all – having no money.
The electricity bill is a foxy bitch. It lulls you into a false sense of safety and comfort during the winter.
And then summer comes along and it bites you right in ‘nads, like a honey badger out of hibernation (I know, I know, honey badgers don’t hibernate).
If our emotions could generate electricity, seeing the bill in the summer would charge the whole neighbourhood.
If Raiden from Mortal Kombat was Indian, he would be a god. Not because of his fighting prowess, but because he could provide free electricity to his entire village.
Yeah, the heat friggin’ sucks – literally. It sucks out your soul. It sucks the electrolytes from your body. But worst of all, it sucks out your bank balance.
Who needs a horror movie when electric bills exist?
You keep weighing the pros and cons of saving your money, but you never do. ‘Cos you’re lazy, broke and delirious from the heat.
As the sweat drips from your forehead, gently slides down an eyelash, and lands with an acidic sting in your eyeball, you decide fuck it, you’re putting on the AC. And so the loop continues.
