For quite some time now, the species Hornius Maximus, more commonly known as Delhi Boys, has reigned supreme in Delhi. The species is often misunderstood and frowned upon. So, let’s take a deeper look into the lives of these majestic animals.
1. The Delhi Boy has a deep obsession with large modes of transport, particularly ones that end with “O,” such as Scorpio, Bolero and Pajero.
2. The Delhi Boy is a territorial animal, and will mark out his territory or “hangout” or “adda” and protect it fiercely.
3. The Delhi Boy has a great liking for loud music, which he plays at high volume while sitting in his Scorpio, Bolero or Pajero.
4. Delhi Boys as a species are a superstitious lot, and constantly worship their patron God, Yo Yo Honey Singh, by playing his music whenever they find the time.
5. Surprisingly, the species is amazingly generous, and lends money to its brethren before they even ask for it.
6. Their scientific name does them justice, as Hornius Maximus is an extremely horny being, constantly on the lookout for females, whom it refers to as “Tottas” and “Patollas.”
7. To secure the attention of said females, a Delhi Boy goes through elaborate rituals which include steroid induced bodybuilding, facials and applying entire bottles of “Sex Panther” cologne.
8. Their beautiful mating display rivals that of the peacock, and consists of the male donning various expensive accessories, tight branded clothes and carrying lots of cash.
9. Despite all his bravado, the Delhi Boy is surprisingly inept at securing mates, as all he can talk about around members of the opposite sex is racing in his Bolero and body-building.
10. However, when The Delhi Boy does manage to secure a mate, he guards her aggressively, reacting violently when another individual so much as looks at her, much like that squirrel protects that walnut in Ice Age.
11. The species has a variety of amazing defense mechanisms. When cornered or threatened, an individual will immediately take the name of his father thusly, “Tu jaanta hai mera baap kaun hai?”
12. To prove their man-hood, Delhi Boys must gel their hair back, drive a Pajero at 200 on a highway while blaring Yo Yo Honey Singh songs at peak volume.
13. The Delhi Boy is a pack animal, and it is not uncommon to see large groups of Delhi Boys roaming around in a Scorpio, Bolero or Pajero.
14. Delhi Boys are a jovial bunch, and refer to each other with many casual forms of endearment, which usually concern having sexy times with the other individual’s mother or sister.
15. It is quite rare to find a vegetarian amongst Delhi Boys, and if one is discovered, he is summarily cast out of the group.
All in all, Delhi Boys are a magnificent species. Even if they’re not nice, polite or grounded in reality, at least they’re funny.