It’s been 2 days since Irrfan Khan passed away and my mind keeps going back to his interviews from the past. There is one in particular that I cherish a lot.
Speaking to Abish Mathews on Son of Abish, Irrfan gave us a little hint about where his idea of romance came from.
Jaipur mein it was very conservative. Kabhi sadak se guzar gaye, usne dekh liya, aapki zindagi ban gayi.
That’s how simple love was for him – something that always reflected in his relationship with wife Sutapa Sikdar.
The two met during their time in NSD, reminiscing about which Irrfan once told Newslaundry Hindi, that he liked Sutapa because it was nice discussing movies with her and that she allowed him to be what he was.
As for Sutapa, a Delhi girl, the attraction was rooted in Irrfan’s innocence. She said that it even made her envious sometimes, and she questioned how someone could be so pure at that age.
Life went on and college sweethearts tied the knot in 1995, 10 years after they had first met.
Irrfan and Sutapa paid a lot of importance to the true meaning of being ‘partners’. For them, it required ‘collaboration’ and they were ready to do it. As Sutapa put it once:
Keep re-inventing. Forget husband and wife, if every individual keeps re-inventing, then any relationship will go in a positive direction.
No one was superior in their relationship, they were each other’s anchors. If Irrfan appreciated her creative genius (the couple also worked together for a few projects), Sutapa loved the way he cared about the kids: Not just on the surface but deeply enough to know their souls.
So, when the beginning of the end approached, Irrfan found Sutapa strong as a rock beside him. This is the statement she released when the speculations about Irrfan’s health were still rife.
Later on, it was announced that Irrfan has cancer and that he will be going abroad for treatment. Almost 2 and a half years later, he passed away.
It has been 2 days since, and Sutapa has finally found the words to describe her feelings. In a message shared today, she said that she’d want to celebrate Irrfan’s magical life and that the only grudge she has against him, is that he ‘spoiled’ her, making her unable to settle for anything ordinary in life.
The only thing I have a grudge against him is; he has spoiled me for life. His strive for perfection doesn’t let me settle for ordinary in any thing. There was a rhythm which he always saw in everything, even in cacophony and chaos, so I have learnt to sing and dance to the music of that rhythm, even with my tone-deaf voice and two left feet.
Irrfan’s entire life was a gift and Sutapa thinks that his journey was ‘victorious’. And to celebrate that, the family will plant a raat ki raani tree at the place he was buried.
Tears will flow as we will plant a raat ki rani tree, his favourite, to the place where you have put him to rest after a victorious journey. It takes time but it will bloom and the fragrance will spread and touch all the souls whom I won’t call them fans but family for years to come.