To fill your partner’s primal lust, you need to build sexual tension even before you perform the deed. After all, who jumps on the main course without trying the delicious starters, right? A lot of physical and mental stimulation can dramatically heat you, and your partner will radiate. Luckily, it’s a discovery every time, and these foreplay tips belong to you.

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1. “However long you think you should spend on foreplay, double it at least. You may be keen to slide straight into pound town after a few minutes of fumbling around down there, but keep on truckin’. Make yourself at home until she’s begging you for the D.”


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2. “Smell nice. Figure out if she likes you to be gentle or rough. Make her feel wanted. Also generally explore every single part of her body instead of going straight for the boobs or vag. For instance, might I recommend the neck/shoulder/collarbone area (a personal favorite), the small of the back, or behind her neck?”


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3. “The most important thing I can say about foreplay is this: care about the person you’re with. Don’t just do things for the sake of having them reciprocated, don’t just think of it as a prelude to the main event, and don’t pay attention to how much time you’ve spent. Do anything and everything you can to keep the person you’re within a state of bliss.”


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4. “When you initiate a kiss, don’t open-mouth, tongue out. Start out with a dry, closed-mouth kiss then work up to the tongue wrestling. Slobbering all over someone’s face is not a great start to a sexy adventure.”


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5. “Make her feel sexy. Sex is no fun when either partner is self-conscious. I don’t care if she is a 10 or a 2, you treat her like she’s the most attractive woman in the world. Caress her body all over. Tell and show her how much you want her. Some women are really self-conscious about their bodies, especially about their vaginas. Reassure her- tell her how pretty it is and how good it tastes.”


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6. “Skin stroking. I have yet to meet a girl who doesn’t like being stroked lightly with fingertips all over. It has to be natural, explore, look, feel and listen to where she reacts, side boob is good, inside of thighs, run fingers down the spine, light touch her scalp and ears.”


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7. “Here is one for girls. Some of you suck way too hard. It’s not a Popsicle. Use your hands more. Just because a guy isn’t hard doesn’t mean you shouldn’t touch him yet. And don’t get nervous and just start pulling on it to get it hard. That’s way too common in my experience. Sometimes it just takes a few minutes to switch gears from work mode. Caressing and feel are better for getting a guy hard than trying to jerk a partial.”


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8. “Physical stimulation is great, but don’t neglect to stimulate her brain with your words as well. And even better if you can build up all day long.”


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9. “The secret to giving good oral is wanting to give good oral. This is true of most things sexual, but especially foreplay. The more you get into it, the more your partner will be into it. Plain and simple. It’s a great feeling to know that the person going down on you wants to and enjoys doing it. It can also really calm the recipient’s nerves, if they’re nervous, too. Just rushing through foreplay to get to sex is pretty much never a good idea. Take your time and enjoy each other.”


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10. “As a dude, getting a woman to relax will help her orgasm. If her thoughts are clouded it just blocks everything you’re trying to do. A massage, going down, candles, a relaxed environment, all those sorts of things just make your job easier.”


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11. “Guys – when giving oral, spell her name with your tongue, never had it fail. Girls – when giving oral, don’t act like it’s a chore that you’re just doing to get to the next step. Even if you don’t like doing it, realize your man loves it.”


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12. “Before you go down on a woman, make it abundantly clear that she can take as much time as she’d like. If she thinks you’re in a rush, you’re both in for a shitty experience.”


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13. “Foreplay doesn’t start in the bedroom (or whatever spot you end up choosing for sex) It starts through texts or phone calls hours before. I see a lot of tips to spend longer on foreplay, which is great. Now add to that by making half the day a casual continual mind fuck of build and anticipation. When you do meet, have something to do besides getting right down to straightforward foreplay.”


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14. “When going down on a chick, suck her clit into your mouth and then lick it with a broad flat tongue (not pointed). Your jaw won’t hurt because you aren’t having to stick out your tongue so you can go at it plenty long enough to make her cum (if that’s an issue), and she’ll get much more pleasure out of it than from just licking.”


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15. “Dry humping with her on top because she initiated it by pushing me back and climbing on board. It is a wonderful feeling to be wanted like that when we’re both In the mood!”


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16. “Actually suck when you give a bj. Don’t just run your mouth over it. Cradle the balls. Use a hand on the shaft. Don’t bite. Some guys like myself prefer pressure on the base of their cock. Neck kisses.”


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17. “Let go of your inhibitions and get past the ‘will they think I’m weird or a freak’…if you can let go of that I think anyone’s curiosity is capable of finding countless fun things to do with two naked bodies. Try to outdo one another with ideas.”


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Read more: Underrated Dating Tips That Can Benefit Your Relationship.