Feminism - noun - equality of genders. 

Equality - noun - getting the same status, rights and opportunities.

Pretty simple, right? 

Womens rights march
Source: Public Radio International

Well, on the contrary, this is where it gets tricky. A very important part of equality is the freedom to make choices for oneself without any pressure or external prejudice. 

So, why is Deepika Padukone's caption for this post problematic?


Glorification - noun - the action of describing or representing something as admirable.

Ode to every woman who puts her husband’s dream before her own, is glorification of a behaviour that robs women of their self-worth, financial stability and exposure that every human deserves.

Women sacrificing for men
Source: The Quint

If a woman wants to give up on her career to help her husband realise his, no one is in a place to tell her not to. 

However, when this behaviour is glorified by a public figure, through a movie which is going to reach millions of impressionable people, it sets a tone where it becomes the 'right thing' to do.

Or something to aspire for. That is a big problem.

women sacrificing on their careers for men
Source: FilmyBeat

Deepika is playing the role of Romi Dev, 1983 World Cup winning captain Kapil Dev's wife. 

This description, in itself, is flawed - but that is all we know about her character.

Who, from the looks of it, supports her husband in bringing glory to the country by creating history on the cricket field.

That is something which takes courage and requires a lot of sacrifices. 

And a 'sacrifice' should not be confused with 'duty'. 

Duty - noun - a moral or legal obligation.

Wives making sacrifices for men
Source: Hindustan Times

Sacrifices are necessary evils which should not have an aspirational value. 

I have seen women making sacrifices my entire life. In some cases, for me; and that makes me feel gutted and apologetic.

The initial reaction is always of gratitude and will always be. However, when you dig deep, you realise the gravity of the situation and that gratitude is probably not enough (even the wrong sentiment to be carrying, sometimes).

Deepika Padukone in Tamasha
Source: Times of India

A lot of male achievers we worship like heroes are backed by women in their lives, who gave up on every thing to help them do what they went on to do.

And while most of these men seem to be appreciative of that, no one, in an ideal scenario, should have to give up on their own dreams.

So, Deepika and her team might want to introspect a bit, on what kind of message the actor is sending across.

Women giving up on careers for men
Source: Gulf News

Do we want another generation of wives, mothers and sisters who decide that the noblest thing to do is stay in the shadows of the men in their lives?

Do we want another generation of men who tell women they can't do things because women didn't do things, to help these same men?

Those are questions women actors like Deepika, who are immensely talented and intelligent, have to ask themselves. Do we want to keep saying 'behind every successful man, there is a woman', 50 years down the line? Sure as hell not, and the pop culture better fix that.