The world today is divided into two kinds of people: those who watch Game of Thrones and those who think Daenerys Targaryen is the scientific name of a frog.
Every time a new Game of Thrones episode airs, the social media gets into a fit of sorts. In fact, such is the gravity if the situation right now, it’s very difficult to find someone who doesn’t watch Game of Thrones these days. Or so, you’d like to think.
Truth is, I don’t watch Game of Thrones. Never have and chances are, never will, either.
And guess what, my life is just as sane, normal and regular as everyone else who watches the show, contrary to the popular belief.
I go out, I watch movies, I watch other TV shows, I spend time with my family, my concepts about the family dynamics are still intact.
Plus, it’s a hundred times more fun for me to see people crash and burn when someone drops a Game of Thrones spoiler.
The hype around the show is so enormous that it might just be the second most followed thing in the world after Christianity.
Having said that, not being a fan of the show can make one’s social life kinda difficult. I should know. In fact, If I had a nickel for every time I had to look at my phone at a social gathering because everyone was discussing Game of Thrones, I swear I would decommission the damned show.
And no, this is not a rant against the show. I’m sure, in all probability, it’s a great show. It’s just that when I got busy with other things in my life, I didn’t know that that would alienate me from every social situation ever.
This is what every social gathering has been like for me:
“Dude, Jon Snow came back to life!!!!!!!!!”
Big fucking deal! I do that every time I drink Royal Stag.
“You have no idea what you’re missing in your life!”
If I don’t know what I’m missing, doesn’t that make me not miss the damned thing? That’s like saying, “What do you mean you’ve never drank sparrow’s blood? You don’t know what you’re missing in life!”
This is me at every time someone says Game of Thrones:
It’s not just a TV show, it’s something else!!
What, like a fruit? Wait, is Game of Thrones a fruit?!
I’ll tell you what it actually is: Too much blood and too much nudity! Bam!
See, I know you guys mean well but blood and nudity bring back some bad memories for me and I’d rather not go back there. Thank you very much.
And honestly, I would have started watching the show had it not been for you guys.
I saw what Game of Thrones fans look like from the outside and I was like, “Fuck it, I don’t want to look like a baboon high on mushrooms every Monday”.
The massive overreaction and hype and the endless series of tweets saying “Jon Snow is best” just threw me off. I’m perfectly fine like this.
So, just stop trying to sell the show to people like me and stop gasping when someone says,”I don’t watch Game of Thrones” like they’ve confessed to being a Trump supporter.
You guys go ahead and watch the show, kill people, bathe in melted gold or whatever you guys do. I can’t go back and start it all over again. It’s just too late now.
Tyrion, Sansa, Daenerys, Baratheon, White Walkers, Amit Shah… There’s just too many characters to catch up on now. It’s too late for me but you guys go ahead. I’ll catch up with you during the Prison Break reboot.
For now, it’s time to go back to House of Cards.
By the way, have you seen House of Cards?! DUDE, IT’S INSAANE!!