Justice League turned out to be just Superman and some dudes messing around along with Wonder Woman, while Batman played a dad. 

The movie looked like a deformed bastard born of unfortunate events between creatures of different species. Let’s have a look at what else went wrong with the film.

Wasn’t Batman supposed to be cool? Then why was he being was less of Batman and more of Nick Fury in the movie? 

Even if this is a different movie, the 50-year-old Bruce Wayne has still defeated Ra’s Al Ghul, The Joker & Superman. That’s Batman’s entire character arc. Give him enough prep time and he can plan to run anybody over. Instead, he spends most of his time being Nick Fury, recruiting people and then fights one parademon, during the same time that his counterparts demolish a dozen. Also, Bruce Wayne is supposedly a Tony Stark wannabe!

For someone so powerful and skilful, Wonder Woman was useless in Justice League. And that’s just sad to see.

Apart from the sexualising what Justice League does to Diana Prince is make her the mom of the group. Yup. That’s pretty much it. Admittedly she has some of the best action sequences in a movie with crappy action sequences. So that’s a pretty low bar. I mean, Wonder Woman remains, till date, the most successful DC hero but is somehow reduced to a hapless demigod, who argues with Bruce Wayne. A lot!

Even the ressurection of Superman was lame!

Bruce Wayne was trained in the Hindu Kush by Ra’s Al Ghul. For anyone who knows anything about Ra’s Al Ghul, it is known that the man uses the Lazarus pit to resurrect and heal. If similar logic was applied to Superman, why did it take Batman, so long to figure it out? I mean, Lex Luthor literally created Doomsday out of it.

And WTF is Aquabro even doing in the movie?

Seriously, WTF does he even bring to the team? All Momoa is but an eye candy. He does not contribute to the story in any way. Arthur Curry of the movieverse looks like a bruhh who says, “Yeah-uh” and “My man!” a lot and takes lame digs at Batman. 

The jokes are unfunny AF.

Ezra Miller’s Barry Allen/Flash gets most of the jokes in the movie and very few of them actually work. And that too, because of Miller’s confounded ‘deer in the headlights‘ look throughout the movie.

There is no real connection between the characters.

Remember the Avengers movie? How a team of dysfunctional men and women fought and then got together with Agent Coulson’s death? In Justice League, there is no such motivation for the team of work together. 

Steppenwolf is the dullest villain in the history of superhero villains.

Man, CGI character without an actor is such shit! As proven by Steppenwolf himself. Besides, Steppenwolf in the movie has no purpose. He wants the motherboxes alright, but does he want to do with them? Does he want to destroy the planet or conquer it? 

Arguably this is not one of the reasons why Justice League is failing at the box office. But damn, that is one weird face to look at. For the uninitiated, Henry Cavil had grown a moustache for the next Mission Impossible movie and Warner Bros could not have him remove it due to contractual obligations. Hence, CGI.

For all his potential, Cyborg was left extremely unexplored.

For the time, Cyborg was on the screen, he was better than his counterparts. But unfortunately, the film does him a grave injustice and the character becomes something you don’t give two shits about. 

Speaking of demigods, how powerless was Aquaman?

To understand this, you must know that Arthur Curry is one of the baddest MOFOs around. He controls the oceans and is almost equal to Superman in strength and skills. He also has the ability to control minds. With Momoa’s casting, DC helped clear the 50-year-old image of Aquaman as a joke riding a fish. And fair enough, Aquaman is straight up badass. But why the fuck wouldn’t you use that?

Justice League was the most expensive clusterfuck of a movie.

The difference between Jack Snyder’s and Joss Whedon’s visions is clearly visible. Whedon seems to have reshot a lot of the movie following the departure of Snyder due to personal reasons. And the effects of this are clearly visible. Most of the scenes that made the trailers look cool were not even in the movie. 

The lack of character establishment & development was clearly visible.

The biggest problem in the movie was the lack of character establishment. Before Avengers even hit the screen, we had had a sample of many subplots as movies leading up to a mega event. DC did not grant itself the same amount of time. BvS managed to establish Batman but that character was drastically changed because, Martha. Wonder Woman was the only clearly defined character. Maybe the Flash even, but owe that to the TV show. Other than that, the common folk were looking at a bunch of superpowered dudes, without having the basest idea about their strengths and stories. 

So we have now witnessed the elite team of the earth’s mightiest heroes. Sorry, I watched the Avengers, again. Because neither Snyder nor Whedon did any justice to the DC superhero ensemble.