Warning: Major spoilers ahead
The last episode of Game of Thrones blew a lot of socks off, and while it was a thrilling experience for viewers, there were also several complaints. One of the major complaints of course, was that the episode was too damn dark. Like literally, you couldn’t see shit!
me tryna make sense of what’s going on with all these dark scenes #GOT pic.twitter.com/l7Nbg5MPaB
— lyanna (@rukhsxr_) April 29, 2019
Some folks also complained that it was slightly anti-climactic. After such a long build-up, the end of the Night King seemed a little rushed and sudden.
So disappointed they did Night King like that.
— BMahdy (@BMahdyy) April 29, 2019
A badass raising the dead and surviving fire and he’s getting stabbed like that…. #NightKing #GameofThrones
This was one of the most expensive and gruelling battle shoots ever, but the logic behind the strategy of the living left a lot to be desired. Twitter user Dr Ed had a whole lot of logical fallacies to point out about Winterfell’s military technique. Check it.
Here is an expert analysis of the military mistakes made at Winterfell, by me, who has no military experience but has seen a lot of movies 1/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
Cavalry: The Dothraki were wasted on a futile charge. Everybody knows the dead swarm their opponents, a frontal charge had no chance. This misuse is likely a result of the racism inherent in the system and the need of the writers to get rid of Dany’s main army for Cersei 2/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
He’s got a point there. I mean, they could’ve just waited for the dead to attack instead of charging into something unknown!
Cavalry 2: They should have kept the Dothraki in reserve until the enemy had committed their main force and then done a flanking charge. Source: This worked twice in Lord of the Rings and it was awesome. 3/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
Artillery: they should have just used their flaming catapults to batter the dead from long range as they approached. Also this might have actually enabled them to see what’s on the field. Instead they barely used them and gave up as soon as they ordered the cavalry charge. 4/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
Infantry: The Unsullied actually were in the right spot but the trench should have been lit as soon as the dead were in sight. They should form up behind it and stab any zombie who gets through, then retreat before being overrun. 5/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
Another thing that really got everyone’s gears was the lack of fire. Light an effigy or something for god’s sake!
Fire: in general there was not enough stuff on fire for a situation where 1) you couldn’t see shit, 2) fire kills the enemy, and 3) you have a fire witch on your side 6/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
Dragons: flew around blindly half the time. Should have been kept close to the castle and stayed together to use the ground fires as markers. Once the dead are in front of the castle swoop down repeatedly to provide close air support to the Unsullied 7/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
Dragons 2: big mistake to separate and then tangle with the enemy dragon close up. Stay in formation and engage as a team, did we learn nothing from Maverick and Iceman 8/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
The dragons – and their riders – had the worst strategy of all. Just flying around blind, looking like a couple of damn fools!
Dragons 3: Dany you do NOT land in the middle of a field surrounded by zombies. This is known by experts as a “hot LZ”, very poor idea 9/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
Knights and Randos: having all the best fighters out in front created a chaotic scrum. Get them behind the Unsullied and inside the walls to get any leakers. They fought hard but were always surrounded and overwhelmed 10/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
And what exactly was Ghost supposed to do? Unless he has teeth made of Valyrian Steel, he can’t really do squat against the dead!
Dire wolf: Man, get Ghost out of there. All that accomplished was keeping us worried about him the whole time 11/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
Bran: Jesus fucking Christ. First of all, why is he in the Godswood by himself and requiring a large bodyguard of the best troops. Get his ass to a secure location with everybody else. 12/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
Bran 2: why is his ass just flying around aimlessly all episode? He should be warging in and out of crows and reporting back what’s going on to the folks in charge. This is called “recon”, especially helpful when you can’t see shit 13/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
I swear Bran better have some answers for his absolute uselessness in the next episode!
Bran 3: Also, did he know all along how this was gonna go down? Why exactly couldn’t he tell anybody? Thanks for the help, less-likeable Dr Strange 14/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
Command and control: seriously who actually WAS in charge? As wise people say, if you have more than one quarterback, you have no quarterback, words to live by 15/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
The Crypt: I mean do I even have to say how dumb it is to leave the bodies in your refuge of last resort, every dumb meme account on the internet saw this instantly so you’d think geniuses Tyrion and Sansa would be wise to it 16/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
Arya: just a shout-out for the only wise decision, letting your best player do whatever they want and win the game at the last minute, known by historians as the LeBron James gambit 17/
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
Ok that’s it thanks for reading, check out my Soundcloud, etc 18/18
— Dr Ed (@notdred) April 29, 2019
You know, I honestly liked this episode a whole lot more before I read this. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss!
