It’s no secret that Bollywood lives in our minds rent-free. No? Just me? OK. Anyway, here are some cool AF comebacks because I’m bored and have nothing to do, and it seems like you don’t either:

1. Geet, Jab We Met

“Aap jo yeh bolte hai, iske paise charge karte hain ya muft ka gyaan hai? Kyunki chillar nahi hai mere paas…” – standard response to every annoying Indian relative ever.

2. Vijaylaxmi, Queen

“Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it.” – butter chicken to me.


3. Raj, Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge 

 “Bade bade deshon mein aisi choti-choti baatein hoti rehti hai, Senorita.” – I dare you to use this line while fighting with your partner. Instant breakup. 

4. Bittoo, Band Baaja Baarat

“Topi rakho… kissi aur ko pehnana.” – @ friend who says “ghar jaa ke GPay kar dunga”

Band Baaja Baarat

5. Rancho, 3 Idiots

“All iz well.” – the mantra of every unprepared exam goer. 

3 Idiots

6. Chulbul Pandey, Dabangg

“Hum tum mein itne ched karenge… ki confuse ho jaoge ki saans kahan se le… aur paadein kahan se.” – all moms when you come home and say “bahaar khaana kha ke aaya hoon.”


7. Bunny, Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani

“Shaadi is daal chawal for pachaas saal till you die. Arey life mein thoda bahut kheema pav, tangdi kebab, hakka noodles bhi hona chahiye na!” – when fam says it’s shaadi time.   

8. Sardar, Gangs Of Wasseypur

“Goli nahin marenge, keh ke lenge uski.” – major baddie energy.

Gangs Of Wasseypur

9. Kabir, Dil Dhadakne Do

“That was epic. No, it was E-Puke.” – when your friend wakes up after a cossosal hangover. 

10. This little kid, Kuch Kuch Hota Hain

“Tussi jaa rahe ho, tussi na jao.” – to that traitor friend who is moving abroad. 

11. Tabrez, Tees Maar Khan

“Tube se nikla hua paste aur tees maar khan ki diyi hui zabaan kabhi vapas nahi jaati” – cause pinky promise is so 2005.

12. Samar, Jab Tak Hai Jaan

“Zindagi toh har roz jaan leti hai …Bomb toh sirf ek baar lega.” – oof the feels.

13. Queen Poo, K3G

“Fat?!” “P.H.A.T: Pretty Hot And Tempting.” – aka the best counter to fat-shaming.