Netflix’s Mai starring Sakshi Tanwar is getting praise from all quarters. Tanwar’s performance is also being hailed as her best on-screen performance to date. But it is this one tiny scene from season 1 of the show that is going viral on Twitter for showing women in our country still have to perform their ‘duties’ in the kitchen even while grieving the death of their child.
We have seen it in our own families for years. So much so, that somehow in our infinite comfort, we have managed to normalise it. But Mai highlighting this has at least started a conversation about the burden of ‘civility’ that we expect women in our families to carry because the rest of us are too lazy to go make a cup of tea.
all the men commenting on this like no it’s part of our religion 🤢 https://t.co/SHLa77oh27— 𝔧 𝔬 𝔡 (@lvxmiii) April 25, 2022
Yes this is the sorry state of a women but not of men https://t.co/dkRwkkyvg1— srikanth gutty (@CixefUwH6Rjmimb) April 25, 2022
Sad truth for which most of us will turn our eyes shut. https://t.co/gvCqCNZlHi— senthil kumar (@daffodil2u) April 25, 2022
Funeral culture in Zim/SA. One has to worry about feeding guests, some of whom you haven’t seen in years, and most often the guests are always complaining “sodla nini?”— Kimma🧫🔬👩🏾🔬 (@kimistry8) April 24, 2022
Serve the guests. Complete the customs. Make arrangements for people who show up to 'share condolences'.— dazedaurconfused (@_WeBore) April 24, 2022
The strangest part about death is that you never even get to grieve without feeling guilty. https://t.co/ZAl7Uod3An
It went wrong somewhere 😕— Cataleya👩🏻🎓 (@catale7a) April 25, 2022
I suppose relatives and well wishers visit the mourning family to boost their morale and bring them to normalcy
So it makes perfect sense fot them to bring food and other necessary arrangements, rather than the mourning host serving them https://t.co/ciGEOMb5ML
Here us, the people of south-east, should have learnt from the west that If someone dies we should serve their families n not the other way round. But alas Only negativity is accepted https://t.co/vKs6lGxuZe— عناب🇵🇸 (@enab_rasool_) April 24, 2022
Please don’t expect tea at a grieving home! 🥲 https://t.co/FNYr1p28lU— Shunya se Ananth! (@zeero2Infinity) April 24, 2022
Have seen first hand how fucked up everything is https://t.co/nMxjy0PdWV— Suyesh (@reXs311) April 24, 2022
Sadly the older generation of people will never leave this tradition behind them. When someone is grieving of their loved ones dying… people will come over expecting whole load of food and tea to be served to them. 🙃 https://t.co/9QkTn8wv9w— TheUnknown (@theunknownchi1d) April 25, 2022
Soo true, it’s even more grieving that ppl aren’t acknowledging the fact. Damn… There were ppl sharing a woman with oxygen mask cooking in the kitchen as “mum’s true love”.— karthi (@beingkarthiii) April 25, 2022
Absolutely despise the "funeral feast" culture! If nothing, people visiting should be bringing food for the household who lost a family member. https://t.co/e8TnzcqzI4— Kulsoom Durrani (@Decolonized_) April 24, 2022
Too many things which have been promised or threatened to women as the ultimate prize or gate to happiness is really just labour for everyone else. *sigh* everything is a scam. https://t.co/OrGBUF8O6f— T (@its_AWP) April 24, 2022
Funerals are very weird. Especially in Kashmir— ________ (@parlegstan) April 24, 2022
By the fourth day it becomes more about the wazwaan and stuff than it is about the person who’s passed away.
When do the families sit down and grieve? https://t.co/ivER6nQUJW
the rage i feel every time i remember i had to do this can probably power an entire city https://t.co/nRPgrHJEBC— ; (@atwtmvftvtvsgav) April 25, 2022
Obviously, there are a lot of men in the QTs going ‘Hamare yahan se sab nahi hota‘. BRO, TALK TO YOUR MOTHER! And I am not going to share those tweets there either cos F them.