Ekta kapoor has been called the “Queen Of Indian Television” by many observers. But those of us who had to miss our favourite sports matches, movies and cartoons because of her mindless drivel know her by a different title. “Ektazilla.” Here are a few rules that every Ekta Kapoor serial followed and why it made her shows super annoying.
1. If a character is popular, he can die and come back to life as many times as he likes.
I mean seriously? Even video game characters don’t have as many lives. Apparently, Mihir > Mario
2. It is entirely possible to build a 25-minute episode on one minor event.
Tulsi broke a glass? Let’s zoom in and zoom out on every character’s face for the next 10 minutes.
3. Reincarnation is the bomb!
Died in an accident? Be re-born as an infant 10 episodes later.
4. Plastic surgery changes everything.
The plastic surgeons in Kektaverse are super talented. After getting plastic surgery, not only does your face change, but your voice, your height and your mannerisms change as well. Sometimes you can even get abs!
5. Reactions are really important.
“Baa, I’m pregnant!” After this is uttered by a young teenage girl, every family member’s reaction have to captured at least 5 times with varying editing effects.
6. The elder member of the family is immortal!
How old is “Baa” exactly? A 150 or something?
7. Make soppy television soaps to keep the women engaged and make raunchy ghost movies to keep the men engaged.
An incredible marketing strategy if there ever was one.
8. The theme song simply has to play 4 times in one episode!
First at the start of episode, then a slow tune when something tragic happens, with some new lyrics in some situations and a happy version of joyous occasions.
9. Put so many family members in the show that people lose track of who’s who.
How many family members are there is these soaps? Like a million?
10. We’ve all had to endure this torture for close to a decade now.
It’s time for some sarcasm laced revenge!