I don’t mean to ruin your childhood, but I can’t handle this information alone. If my childhood was a lie, so was yours! And consider this piece a reality-check.
We grew up watching Bollywood, which technically governed our lives. Be it dancing with SRK on It’s The Time To Disco or relishing the friendship between Munna Bhai and Circuit, Bollywood movies and our childhood were greatly intermeshed. However, little did we know!
Bollywood movies had several moments brimming with sexual innuendoes that we were too young to notice and our parents — consciously — didn’t care to explain.
Here are 11 of those sexually loaded scenes from our childhood Bollywood movies that we were too naive to really understand.
1. The Kantaben moments in Kal Ho Na Ho!
Seeing Kantaben scandalized each time she saw Aman and Rohit together was hilarious. And while we couldn’t really understand Kantaben’s horrified expression, the way the film portrayed the discomfort of an archaic mindset meeting modern realities was rib-tickling funny.
2. Sameer and Rama scene from Mujhse Shaadi Karogi.
By this time, we knew that Sameer’s mom had mistaken Rani’s mother for Rani. So we get why Rama was so horrified to see Sameer in person. But the dialogues they exchange in that sequence are cringe and so heavily loaded with sexual innuendos that they were a bouncer to our innocent 2004 brains.
3. Shah Rukh Khan’s battle with the stuffed tiger in Om Shanti Om.
I honestly thought SRK was speaking random gibberish in this sequence until I saw this. And now my life has changed forever!
4. That moment in Golmaal Returns when Kareena Kapoor eavesdrops on Ajay Devgn in his office.
While Golmaal Returns was already my least favourite of the Golmaal series, understanding this scene now has made the movie tackier than ever.
5. Madhuri Dixit & Sanjay Kapoor “C’mon Raja!” sequence in Raja.
Can you unsee this scene ever again? I wonder whether this was a conscious choice or they actually didn’t realize it. Whatever might be the case, this is horrifying.
6. The ‘Dreamum Wakeuppam Critical Conditionum‘ song from Rani Mukerji’s Aiyyaa
Essentially, the entire song is a ghastly description of being horny before making out. And we never got it. It’s funny how a song you once vibed to becomes chilling when you begin to understand what it actually means. Bollywood has been consistent in giving us loads of such double-meaning songs.
7. This conversation between Sridevi & Rajesh Khanna from Maqsad is cringe pro max.
I’ve never heard anything like this. What’s even shocking is to see Sridevi and Rajesh Khanna maintaining a sense of innocence and delusion throughout the game of riddles loaded with double entendre. I wonder how the ‘sanskaari’ censor board gave a green flag to this. That too in 1984. Or are they just Benjamin Bottoning?
8. The Hotel Decent in Jab We Met was anything but ‘decent.’
I remember watching this scene as a kid and getting confused about the smirk Shahid Kapoor and the receptionist of Hotel Decent exchange. While I could sense something fishy was going on, it took me adulthood to know what it really was.
9. Rajpal Yadav in Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya.
While it was pretty obvious Rajpal Yadav’s character was crushing hard over Sushmita Sen, some of the dialogues and gestures he made were not-so-innocent.
10. Mr. Malhotra and Miss Braganza in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai were something else altogether!
Mr. Malhotra and Miss Braganza’s scenes in KKHH were loaded with sexual tension that our childhood brains could not perceive. For us, they were just two bizarre characters who were ‘more than friends.’
11. The not-at-all subtle scenes from Masti.
While the latter parts of the series became all the more messed up, the first Masti was where the cringefest began. I’m not sure how many of you watched it back then, but I remember the film being highly televised. Besides, the film’s songs were very popular back then. To those who watched Masti as a kid, did you understand it one bit?
Why did we grow up so soon?