The best you can do when you can’t drive is call dibs on the front seat! And that’s all. You don’t have a say in the music being played because “Hey! It’s my car!”, you can’t tell the directions “because people stupid enough to not know how to drive can just not be good with directions!”, you can’t sleep because “Can’t you see I am driving? Sit straight!” and in the worst of times, you can’t even talk because “SHUT UP! You’re distracting me!” Even your flawed brain makes you involuntarily stomp your foot into the boot of the car if your driver is driving too rash, because “Gotcha, loser!”
Our struggles don’t stop at these. Here’s a list of problems we face because we don’t know how to drive:
1. You need to ask your parents to pick you up and drop you.
2. After every late-night party, you need to call your friends to drop you back home.Or you have to leave early because your parents are picking you up.
3. Your driver bhaiya becomes your human-diary. He travels with you and listens to all your conversations with your friends and that someone.
4. What’s more! He becomes a bodyguard appointed by your parents. You are scared to do anything ‘fun’ for the fear that he might complain. You bribe him every now and then, so that he defects to your side.
5. You can’t enjoy good weather because you can’t go on long drives.
6. Your friends don’t let you play your choice of music in their car.
7. You have to go through the pain of babies, sweat, farts and human touch in public transport.
8. For you, arguments with autowallahs and rickshawallahs over five rupees, are as as recurrent as the Sun rising in the East.
9. You have never been able to make successful plans, spontaneously.
10. You just can’t save money! Metro cards, bus passes, radio taxi bills! They just won’t stop!
11. You shy away from parties if your friend can’t pick you up as you can’t travel in public transportation, all dolled up.
12. You feel horribly redundant in times of emergency!
13. And if you’re one of those who claims to know how to drive but doesn’t, you fill your stomach with alcohol so that you are not the designated driver!
14. You feel forever indebted to whosoever has driven you around.
Anyway, not knowing how to drive isn’t the end of the world. It doesn’t make us any less awesome. Oh, my driver’s here. Gotta go!