So, Superman is in the news again, huh? Well, he does have a habit of doing really bizarre things. Case in point:  

1. That time Superman convinced everyone that Batman was a witch and almost had him burnt at stake. 

In 1969, Batman and Superman embarked on a time travel adventure where they got stuck in time during the American Revolution. The two kept bickering and turning on each other which ended with Superman convincing people that Batman was a witch and putting him on trial for it. 

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2. That one time Superman pretty much got featured in a celebrity sex tape. 

Sleez, a villain had the power to make anyone do sleazy things. So he got Superman and Big Barda all prepped up to know each other biblically while filming the procedure. He wanted to use Superman’s sex tape as a weapon against the Justice League. 

3. Superman was the officiant at a wedding between his best friend Jimmy Olsen and an actual gorilla. 

In 1966, when Clark Kent’s friend Jimmy Olsen found himself to be the object of attraction of a gorilla named Bruna, the journalist took it upon himself to become a witch doctor and make their marriage official. 

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4. Back in the 70s, Superman’s girlfriend Lois Lane used a machine to become black for a day because she wanted to know what it was like to be underprivileged. 

Lois Lane wanted to report on the lives of African American people. So she used a machine to be black for a day to experience their problems first hand. 


5. For a brief period of time Superman’s only power was magic rainbow hands, 

In 1958, after contact with an alien ship, all of Superman’s powers were replaced by rainbow beams shooting out of his hands. 

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6. Once Batman had a sleepover at Superman’s and the duo bared their hearts and cried after watching an alien worm have sex and then die. 

Batman once had a sleepover at the Fortress of Solitude with Superman. This results in the weirdest bromances of all time as the duo bare their souls to each other and end up crying over the death of an alien worm. 

7. Once Superman was cursed to transform into a lion. He then fought a rival lion for the affections of a lioness, which he won. 

In Action Comics #243, Superman saved Circe, the descendent of a Mediterranean sorceress who used funny-sounding cocktails to change humans into animals. She gives Supes a drink laced with Kryptonite and then asks him to marry her but he refuses. 

The very next day, Superman starts turning into a lion and whole Lois vows to stand by him, the shame becomes too much for him to bear and he joins a circus, before running away to Africa, joining a lion pride, fighting a rival lion for the right to mate with a lioness. 

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8. Superman once paralysed a student by drugging him and then took his place to participate in a football game. 

Upon overhearing a coach pay two ringers to injure the other team’s star players during a Football game, Superman decides to step in by finding a student that looked like him. He then proceeds to paralyse him by drugging him and assuming his identity. 


9. Superman once used a Superman robot to have Lois Lane spanked. 

To prove to Superman that she wasn’t afraid to be in danger, Lois decided to spend a night at the Fortress of Solitude. Lois tried to pull off a con by exposing herself to some radiation as an excuse to spend some days at the Fortress. She had also planned to ask Supes to marry her after this. 

Unfortunately for her, he figured out her scheme and made a Superman robot spank her as a punishment. 


10. Superman used a ray to make Lois enormously fat in a day without her permission. 

In “Superman’s Girl Friend, Lois Lane” #5, Superman exposes Lois to a growth ray that makes her gain 45 kilos in a day. She just wakes up and becomes enormous one fine day. Superman later reveals that he had done so to catch a criminal and if he had asked her, she would have just said no. 


11. Supes once made Lois Lane think that Clark Kent died by suicide. 

Being an investigative journalist Lois Lane often had to take up disguises to do her job. Superman thought ‘How dare she’ and shows up as Clark Kent and falls in love with Lois LaFlamme, the French woman Lois was pretending to be.

When she says no, Superman tricks Lois by pretending to kill himself right in front of her, just to make her feel guilty. 


Thank God, the films don’t have to be comic-accurate.