I started dating back when I was 18 years old. And, the first lesson I learned was that men can’t deal with rejection. Not a great start but apparently no matter which century you’re are in, if you’re a woman, you are always supposed to ‘adjust’ for men so that THEIR feelings are not hurt.
Why? Because the world is supposed to make way for them and their incapability of dealing with difficult emotions when rejected. So, naturally, women are supposed to understand and give them ‘leeway.’ I see how fair that is.
Now 7 years later and after losing so many friends to this, I am 25 and still surrounded by men who will ask me out for a date and when I reject them, they’ll almost always stop talking to me or behave in a way that will make me feel guilty for rejecting their offer.
Ah excuse me, first off, just because you asked, doesn’t mean I have to consent to it. And secondly, from where do you get such entitlement?
This has happened so many times that I have developed a coping mechanism to mentally bid farewell to any friend or colleague of mine who even hints at anything romantic.
I remember I had this guy friend who over the years became my go-to pal for everything. But now he lies in my block list and whenever I see him in public, I duck for my life.
You’d ask why right? Well, he mistook our friendship for something else and kept pestering me to give him a ‘chance.’
Needless to say, his behaviour changed after that and we lost touch. Once in a while, I did get his text, checking if my ardent ‘no’ had turned into a ‘feeble’ yes. Safe to say that never happened because I had to block him. That’s a good friendship down the drain, right there.
But how does it matter? Because he’s not a good person if he does something like this.
This made me wonder that why grown-up men who are more than capable of understanding the world and its complex concepts, can’t accept rejection and base their behaviour on whether or not, they’ll get a favourable outcome? How difficult is it? We do it. Aren’t the rules supposed to be the same for both, men and women?
Are we still so primitive? Science apparently calls them ‘sensitive.’ But you know what we call them? Douchebags. They can’t just act like this and get away with it because ‘boys will be boys.’
What is with not respecting boundaries and then not understanding consent and then not understanding a woman’s ‘no?’ No amount of psychoanalyzing and theorizing will justify it for men to be a total jerk.
The narrative that men can’t handle their emotions is plain bullshit. Forget rejection, respecting boundaries, and understanding consent is something basic. And, if you can’t even comprehend that, you need a refresher course on how to be a decent human being.
So no, it’s not boy will be boys. It is boys and men will be held accountable for their actions. So, stop sulking and behaving like a fuckboy when you don’t get a response you thought you would. All of us face rejection, you’re no different. Sit down and be humble.
And, while we’re at it, when you pull off something like this, you reinforce with your actions that we are substandard people who only deserve to be treated well till you get to be in our pants. Honestly, that’s just downright selfish. Not to forget, you shift the blame onto someone else who shouldn’t be put in such a position in the first place.
And, I won’t be the first one saying it and also not the last one but babying men so that their feelings don’t get hurt is just so 1900s. We have come so far for a reason. And, I just won’t accept that men can’t behave maturely after being rejected because they aren’t wired that way. Spare me all of it. We are all mature consenting adults who can think for ourselves.
I’d say this one last time before I blast like a ticking time bomb. Men, take ownership of your feelings or go to therapy. I have had enough of this anyway. And, if not, there has to be a special place in hell for men like this.