Bollywood has very specific definitions of beauty. Every heroine in the Hindi film industry looks like a mildly altered version of the same girl. If you’re anything outside the confines of these Karan Johar’s dream girl sanctions, well, you’re basically undesirable. Fix yourself or get lost.

According to B-town, these 6 things make you not cool (especially if you want to land a boo):

1. Glasses

Every lead arm candy has to shed her glasses for the hero to realise she is beautiful. I think this theory is misinterpreted. What really happens is that when she takes off her glasses, it not only clouds her vision, but also her judgement and the girl fails to see what an judgemental, superficial man-child the dude really is. 

Yeh Jawaani Hain Deewani

2. Being more than a size two

Yo Bollywood. We’re human beings you know. We have cellulite, we have curves, we have texture. Not all bodies look like they’ve been sculpted by Michelangelo.

Kal Ho Na Ho

3. Not being “feminine” enough

Funny how the standards of femininity is set by a bunch of men. If you don’t sit like a girl, behave like a girl, do things that age old traditions have dictated women should do and basically don’t cater to the male gaze: you’re ugly!

Main Hoon Na

4. Anti-sanskaar

I don’t know what’s cooked in the masala of Bollywood movies, but according to them there’s nothing sexier than touching feet. Sanskaar and beauty are directly proportional. The less sanskaari the girl, the more undesirable she is. 

Veere Di Wedding

5. Dark skin

In a world that attempts to progress beyond the evils of society, Bollywood continues to be stuck in the quick sand of backward stereotypes. Time and time again, its movies have portrayed dusky complexions as ugly. Like that scene in Fashion, where Priyanka Chopra commits the ultimate sin and sleeps with a black man or in Khaali Peeli which had the hook line – Ho tujhe dekh ke goriya, Beyonce sharma jayegi, indicating that a fair Ananya Panday is obviously more beautiful than Beyonce. Lol.

Fashion

6. Not feeding into the male ego

As a B-town gal you have to exist just to uplift the man. It’s cool if you have a spine but not enough to overshadow the man. If you do end up getting the better of him or putting your own interests above him, you’re the villain. 

Bramhastra

*Sigh* When will Bollywood start seeing women as women and not arm candy? We’re more than hot legs ready to dance on command!