We all make mistakes, some that are honestly quite terrible. Ones that frankly need a one (or two) page essay AND monologue that explains everything with a solid apology. But not many of us know how to do that, and that’s okay, as long as we’re interested in learning. Which is why this Reddit thread, where people have shared the right way to apologize is so great.

So, let’s just dive right in and take a look at what tips people have to give out:

1. “A corrective action. It’s easy to say that you’re sorry, even to feel sorry. People don’t want to hear, ‘I’m sorry.’ They want to hear what you’re going to do to help fix the problem.”


2. “Integrity. It’s not measured in tone or remorse, but empathy and endurance. It’s everything after the apology that makes it lasting.”


3. “These basic elements:

1. ‘I’m sorry for (specify what you did wrong here)’

2. ‘I know it was wrong for me to do that, because (explain reasons here)’

3. ‘In the future, I will (what you plan to do to make sure this never happens again and/or to make amends for what you did)'”


4. “Sincerity.”


5. “Acknowledgment of wrong doings and sincerity when deciding to do/be better.”


6. “Consistently amended behavior.”


7. “Not expecting forgiveness.”


8. “Remembering that apologizing doesn’t guarantee that you will be forgiven.”


9. “Not a vague, ‘Okay, I’m sorry. I fucked up!’ Or ‘I’m sorry you feel that way.'”


10. “It should be noted that an apology is the FINAL step in a multi-step process. You have to already have independently engaged in the amends to the extent that you are able without their input. You have to already have independently problem-solved and future-proofed. And only when you are ready to close out the incident (plus or minus any additional amends they request), do you issue the apology. Otherwise, as Ygritte from Game of Thrones so amply noted, ‘Words are wind.'”


11. “Not saying “But…” after apologizing.”


12. “Empathy for any inflicted pain.”


13. “Acknowledging what you did and the impact your actions had(not saying ‘Sorry if I offended you’). Showing remorse. Not shifting the blame (‘I’m sorry, but you also….’). No excuses. Not doing it again. Not expecting a reward for apologizing (like a very enthusiastic response, or getting back together with someone, etc…).”


Nobody ever teaches you how to apologize, so this thread is literally Godsent.