First dates are never easy. We really aren't naturally programmed to 'meet new people' after a certain age and there is no better situation to realise this truth than at an awkward attempt at striking a connection with a complete stranger - that dreaded first date.
And these dates are especially uneasy if you're one of those that pull some of the worst fuck-ups possible. Here are some of biggest no-nos for a first date.
1. Rule number one. Do not bring up your ex.
Best way to drive away a first date. I shouldn't even have to say this, but apparently, I need to.
2. If you don't have anything nice to say, do not comment on their appearance.
It does nothing but make you come off as judgemental and shallow.
3. Being rude to a server or valet is a huge red flag to most people.
So don't be the guy/girl that makes them awkward beyond repair and that they tell their friends about later in utter horror and embarrassment.
4. Make sure if you have food allergies/reactions, you watch carefully what you order.
No first date wants to have to brave through a fart attack or a puffy face.
5. Don't mess with their shit. It's not that hard.
Getting their dupatta stuck in your watch and tearing it, or dropping their phone and cracking its screen. Shit like this has happened, avoid it as much as you can.
6. Do not, I repeat, do not have your phone out or text someone while you're on a date.
Basic fucking etiquette, people.
7. If you think challenging everything they say equals stimulating conversation, stop.
Simply put, it's annoying and nobody likes that.
8. Ask 'em about what they do and where. But a first date may not be the best place to ask 'em how much they make.
I mean, you don't want to set off the gold-digger-alarms, do ya?
9. If there's something you're really into, from your job to CrossFit to Game of Thrones, make sure you don't let it monopolize conversation.
Unless you're also into being labeled 'incapable of talking about anything else'.
10. Try to stay away from extreme opinions and generalisations.
You don't want to shit all over lawyers, discover his/her father is one and have no way to recover.
11. While honesty is encouraged, there's no full disclosure rule on a first date.
Try not talk about the little infection you're having checked out this weekend. It can lead to no good, only a bucket of awkwardness.
12. Steer clear of nicknames. Don't shorten their name or call 'em 'Butter-fingers' if they drop something.
I mean you're on a first date, hold your horses, slick. The time for nicknames will come, hopefully.
13. Do not talk about marriage. Not even in a casual way, not in any way.
Way, way too soon, and it will more likely than not spook the other person a bit.
14. Don't you dare take digs at their friends or family even if they do the same.
It's okay for them to do it, but a random first date doing it is real a quick formula for putting them right off.
15. If you're driving them home, and don't know for a fact that he/she likes the same music as you, play the frikkin' radio.
The loud gangsta rap playing super loud soon as you turn the car on, is presumably not everyone's cup of tea.
16. If you're a guy, don't wear a v-neck tshirt to a first date.
It's universal douchebag uniform.
Got that? Good. Now go out there and have an awesome first date and try not to think at all about allllll the many things that can go wrong!