It’s funny how fries is plural but meant for one person only. I am that person. You cannot share my fries.

I remember going out for for burgers with my boyfriend, while placing the order I asked him if he wanted anything else. He said he didn’t. So I went ahead and ordered my fries. When my order arrived, he unapologetically extended his hand across the table, over to my plate. He is now my ex-boyfriend.

While potatoes exist in many forms, I strongly believe potatoes exist solely so they can be used in their fried form and turned into the greatest food known to man.

A side dish? Fries are the ‘main’ deal!

While menus all over the world argue that fries are a “side dish” I respectfully disagree. Fries have fought to be in the “mains” for decades now.

For many people like me (here’s hoping) fries are not something to nibble on while your main dish arrives. And most importantly, fries are not something you SHARE.

Eating alone has acquired a new meaning now. 

Just like Joey doesn’t share food, I don’t share my fries. And when I was younger, I did not share my “finger chips” even if I had to take them to the balcony to eat them at my own pace and save them from my elder brother who practically inhaled his food.

So if you happen to go out for a meal with me, do NOT, under any circumstances, expect me to share my fries with you. Do NOT sneakily extend your hand towards my plate and casually just grab a couple of fries off it, like it’s no big deal.

It is a very big deal.

I will personally buy extra fries for you, I will get you an entire meal and I will buy fries for the table also, but what’s mine is NOT yours. Okay? Okay. My fries are mine and only mine. 

I don’t want anything to come between me and my fries.

Also, why have peri-peri fries suddenly become the rage ? Why do fries have to be “peri peri” ? 

And why do fries come in the form of a chaat. If I wanted chaat, I would have gone to the golgappe walla and not ordered fries. Why must people add imli and chaat masala and sev to fries? 

I like my fries just as they are, with salt. Nothing else. Not even ketchup. I do not want anything to come between me and my fries. 

Please don’t order a whole meal and a single order of fries! NOPE!

On multiple occasions, I have noticed, people will order just a burger and NO fries. Or when they do decide to order fries, they will tell me “let’s just share a portion of fries, lesser calories”. You and your calories can take a walk. I will get my own fries and eat them at my own pace without you and your calorie chart. 

I like eating at my own pace. 

I vividly remember one office lunch where someone suggested sharing fries. I was an intern at the time and could not say no to this person or say “no, I’ll get my own” so we “shared” these fries, of which I got only two bites ! 

 *Fries are and will always be BAE*