All brown folks everywhere know just how little toilet paper matters when it comes to doing number two. The whole Asian community, in fact, is far too advanced for toilet paper TBH. But really, what do Indians do when they’re not at home?
What do brown folks do to wash their tushies when they don’t have access to their jet sprays, mugs et cetera, et cetera? Well, we found this Reddit thread where desis shared their tips and tricks to survive in foreign lands!
1. Alright, so the wiping is good if the toilet paper is good enough. I used toilet paper once, used a lot and didn’t feel that clean. But maybe I’ll get used to it. I have always used a hand-held bidet to spray water up into my ass. Then flushing it all out because I don’t want to carry around shit inside my ass. I am yet to find a Japanese toilet. Will hope that’s good enough.
2. You can install a bidet into your toilet, they’re pretty cheap actually. My cousin has one in his house, like twenty-something dollars I think. Though, the combo of bidet and toilet paper is the most superior. Clean ass, and you can dry off after. The peak of going appi, the peak of kakkoos.
3. Use the showerhead (assuming that it’s not fixed like in some hotels I’ve been to), regulate that bitch and voila, your butt is squeaky clean. I was once on a ten-day hike in the mountainous areas of central/eastern Europe. Had to use a combination of baby wipes plus tp. P.S there were no toilets, my brain was completely against doing it in the open.
4. Knew it beforehand. Always carried wet toilet flushable napkins. Ain’t nobody got time for dried shit in a bum hole.
5. I was born and raised in Kerala, came to the US in 2000 been here since then. At home, I wipe with toilet paper and finish with a wet wipe. It’s huggies baby wipes that I stockpile as though it’s the end of times. When at work I sneak in one single sheet of paper towel, wet and finished off with that and either flush it down or put that in the feminine hygiene disposal bag and throw the whole thing in the garbage. I have never caused a clog from flushing the paper towel. The key is to flush the poo plus tp down first before the lone dirty wet paper towel if there is no feminine hygiene disposal mechanism.
6. At home I use a water bottle, it’s quite ergonomic once you get the hang of it. Fill it up from the sink and use it to clean up. Outside, if there’s a water source nearby I use paper plus water along with just paper. If I have a bag I carry wet wipes in individual packets.
7. My experience: On travel to the US, I got hold of a one-litre bottle of water from the airport shop and used it on the bum in the loo. Once I got to the hotel, I got myself some plastic cups and used them as mugs (the tub’s tap is easy to reach from the throne). When I had my own place, I got myself a small bucket and mug (actually, a plastic two cup measuring cup). During domestic travels in the US, I would always carry a small plastic cup for this. I was disciplined in my loo timings so I only did number two at my place. In a pinch, I used baby wipes.
8. For god’s sake, just buy a lota and avoid this toilet paper nonsense. Also, experience a clean bum for the first time in your life.
9. My cousin who emigrated told me that he got more disciplined in terms of ‘dinacharyagal.’ He trained his body to poop before bath time and that’s the only time he’d poop.
10. It’s not too bad, it actually gets the job done when you’re in public. At home, we have an attachment for the toilet that sprays water right into your kundi. It’s magical.
11. At hotels, I carry a water bottle with water in it.
12. Where there’s no option, like in office, I wipe using normal toilet paper. But I wipe too hard and it hurts afterwards. And the being-dirty-feeling lingers all day. So as soon as I get home, I wash my ass.
13. Where I can’t carry a water bottle, I wet the toilet paper and use it.
Washing your bum is superior to wiping. Period.
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