Disclaimer:

All the characters and incidents in this story are a figment of imagination. Any resemblance to Chetan Bhagat's books is completely intentional and not at all regretted. The contents of the story can be disturbing. We advise parental guidance for both children and grown ups.

Starring:

Christian Grey as Krishna Greywaal

Anastasia Steele as Anusuiyya Sheel

The story (obviously) starts with a flashback...

Krishna Greywaal is the youngest trustee of IIT Kharagpur and co-incidentally the hottest guy in the campus as well. No wonder, everybody in the college, straight or gay, has hots for him.

Anusuiyya gets a seat in IIT Kharagpur through OBC quota in basketball trials and meets Mr Greywaal in the personal interview round.

Greywaal sees a perfect submissive in Anusuiyya and selects her over national topper Chatur Ramalingam who is busy figuring out why ballpens don't work in space.

Anusuiyya, who obviously sucks at studies, starts going to Greywaal's place for Mathematics tutions.

Unsuspecting Anusuiyya falls for Mr Greywaal's charms and commits the first mistake of her life when she kisses him under a paani ki tanki .

Anusuiyya starts singing lahu muh lag gaya whenever she meets Mr Greywaal. People in college start gossiping about the two!

Greywaal senses perfect timing and discloses his dark side to Anusuiyya. He sends her a contract explaining how he would like to beat the shit out of her first and then have BDSM sex with her.

Anusuiyya, however, wants to have a traditional vanilla relationship. They finally work out a solution and reach a conclusion. Anusuiyya agrees to become Krishna Greywaal's half girlfriend.

Greywaal takes Anusuiyya to the secret chemistry lab where he took all his previous submissives.

Anusuiyya freaks out and refuses to behave as a submissive. Greywaal gets irritated and yells ' Deti hai to de, varna kat le. '

Anu leaves Greywaal and IIT Kharagpur and goes back to Chennai. Both sing adhuri kahani, adhura alvida in their respective states.

Greywaal tries to write a book to divert his mind but ends up writing an adult version of Kamasutra. No one agrees to publish the book. In the meanwhile, Greywaal gets a call from God saying he should call and propose to Anu for marriage.

Greywaal's Punjabi mom and Anu's Tamilian mom meet over lunch but end up hating each other. Greywaal's mom taunts Anusuiyya for being OBC and hitting on his son. Riots break out in the city over this casteist comment.

Greywaal comes back home furious, only to see his father sipping his Jack Daniels. Greywaal loses it and slaps his father and walks out to the nearest bar.

Cut to present...

LOCATION: In the bar

Mr Bhagat, who had been patiently listening to Greywaal's story in the bar all this while, gets impressed. He sends one copy of the story to Rupa and Co. and another to Raju Hirani. Bhagat's book becomes a bestseller and Hirani's movie breaks all records set by PK.

The media goes into a frenzy and starts looking for the real Krishna Greywaal and Anusuiyya Sheel. Upon discovering them, media gets them to marry on national television.

After a few months, both star in Big Boss season 9 and win the title.

The End (Because every story has a happy ending in India).