Finding your true soul-mate is tough. There are way too many people. You interact with a very small fractions. Some are too tall, some too dark. Some don't speak your language and still others don't speak. If you believe statistics and probability, your chances are slimmer than India white-washing Australia down under.

But I'm here to tell you that even if we keep the math aside, you don't stand a chance; and here's why:

1. You are tough, but you never walk in your inner-wear when it's freezing outside. How do you expect 'the one' to find you?

2. Your true love is probably sunbathing on a beach somewhere. But you never run naked covered in body spray, you stupid!

3. Unless you bathe in rose petals, how will she come to rub your back?

4. You eat chocolate wrong!

5. You don't wear chappals to snowy peaks! Love is all about Hawaii slippers in snow.

6. Forget about it if you won't even jump from a building for a cola. C'mon, women need to know you're passionate.

7. You don't even go to live on an island after shaving your face!

8. You're foolish enough to eat mangoes normally instead of making out with them? Are you for real, girl?

9. You wear clothes after you apply aftershave? What a noob!

10. You use hair gel to set your hair instead of spearfishing? You've got to be kidding me!

11. Don't tell me you don't dance when you make coffee? You'll never get this beautiful hyena then!

Mend your ways you hopeless romantics! Be practical and start doing these things right!