Is consumption of alcohol harmful for your liver? Or is it beneficial for your health? We really don’t know. But let’s agree that you need to earn to survive, and to survive at work, you’ll need some extra help. Here are 13 reasons why alcohol will give you that extra strength to get through your hectic office day. Take a look.
1. You’ll start loving work.
You will have something to look forward to everyday. Less leaves. Longer hours. No complaints.
2. Diminished ability to process insults.
Your boss is hurling insults at you? Your management hates you? A few drinks and it won’t even matter.
3. Lower motor skills = Higher seating capacity
I know you find it hard to sit at your desk for long periods. Not any more. You’ll stagger so much, you will prefer sitting.
4. It’ll be a good excuse for more toilet breaks.
And even if you want to leave your desk frequently, it’s justified. No one will question you.
5. You’ll acquire the super power of flattery.
“Bhai, tu best worker hai idhar!” A few pegs will make you a master of flattery. And it’ll help you kiss butt without feeling like a heel.
6. Your socializing capacity will increase ten fold.
“A lot can happen over a cup of coffee?” Not sure, but a bottle of single malt whiskey will create really strong bonds.
7. Confrontations with asshole colleagues will be far less likely.
Or very, very likely.
8. Your slurred speech will help you avoid accountability.
Your stupid boss will finally be able to understand what you’re saying. Because you are now talking in a language he understands. It’s called “Gibberish.”
9. You’ll be able to survive offsite visits.
This will give you the edge in surviving those dreaded ‘Friday fun activities.’
10. You’ll always be in a permanent, non-responsive stupor.
Government offices have this by default. But private offices could use some as well.