Show me someone who says they’ve never watched porn and I’ll show you a liar. We all have, at some point of time or the other, intentionally or unintentionally, seen at least a snippet of that-which-must-not-be-named and spent some ‘quality time’ with ourselves in the process.

Just like Popeye. And all of us used to think it was the ‘spinach’.

Cartoons Images

However, even though it’s extremely common, there are some who are disgusted beyond words by the mere idea of playing with themselves.

This article is a wet dream for such people. Check it out.

1. Move your jaws, not your hands.

Funny Junk

Why chew it when you can rub it?

Rock paper ink

2. Bahut khujli hai na tujhe?

Ali express

Don’t worry, it’s a sex toy. Not a very appealing one though.

Ali express

Now imagine squeezing your ‘one-that-must-not-be-named’ wearing that.

Ali express

3. For all those who masturbate with two hands.

Bhagwan sab dekh raha hai. Teri yeh harkat bhi.

Oliver Flesch

4. If you can’t stop them, ‘crucify’ them.


5. Letting wrestlers drive home the message.

Brian Theodore

And make sure you leave your ‘willy’ alone.

Mixed martial arts

6. Keeping it ‘strait’ and simple.


7. Better still, just cage the ‘demon’.


I know you’re wondering where you can buy this. Well, here’s the link .


8. Promote more cartoons like these.


9. Use dolphins to spread the noble message.

Meet Fappy the anti-masturbation dolphin.


If you missed it, read the conditions carefully.

And Fappy has an important message for you.

And Fappy never minces his words. Never.

I see no reason why we too can’t put our dolphins to equally good use. And he even has his own Facebook page.


10. Distribute funnels like these. Na rahega haath, na bajegi bansuri.

Naked town

Such invention. Much wow.