We have all had that one friend who goes to America for a week and returns with a distinctively twanged accent, akin to the white dudes in Lagaan… which is in itself weird, because our friend went to America, not Europe. None of us ever thought that that accent was ‘cool’. However, when a Bollywood A-lister puts on a phoney phonetic, you know some benighted, infantile loafers with the brains of a Jellyfish will impersonate them, thinking that they sound cooler than the Arctic… Monkeys.

These are 10 Bollywood accents that sound so other worldly, they would make Jadoo’s accent seem intelligible.

1. Hrithik Roshan

An accent as fake as Bollywood’s muscles.

2. Anil Kapoor

Before he got them mowed down, you could see this guys chest hair through his turtleneck. His mustache and accent are as thick as ever though.

3. Aishwariya Rai Bachchan

“I khen speak about 4 languages”… Yes, but which one are you speaking right now?

4. Abhishek Bachchan

I think the wifey’s accent is making its way to the hubbys tongue. They’re working on a film toghedder as well.

5. Kangana Ranaut

I think she is one of the best actresses in our defi-nation.


6. Salman Khan

God really has been khind , Salman. This is an excerpt from an interview taken before the time he was shooting for… Black Buck.


7. Deepika Padukone

Showing off her Tamil accent that she worked on for Chennai Express – No comments.

8. Priyanka Chopra

Everybody is welcome in her city. That city, of course, is Bareilly.

9. Mallika Sherawat

That’s her name, alright.

Jokes apart, everyone can’t be Amitabh, I suppose.