Recently stand-up comic Sahil Shah was exposed to visual radiation poisoning camouflaged in the form of Heropanti 2. His reaction to the trailer mimicked the sentiments of our entire nation and made me think... maybe he should come work for ScoopWhoop?
Check out his review of the bizarre, poorly cut 3 minutes and 38 seconds of pure torture they call the official trailer of Heropanti 2:
I just saw the Heropanti 2 trailer. I have some thoughts and questions. Mainly WTF and Why...but let me share them with you. A 🧵— Sahil Shah 🇮🇳 (@SahilBulla) April 29, 2022
It starts with Nawazuddin doing his best Heath Ledger meets Mark Hamill meets Rambo Circus Joker impression. The dude in the middle is regretting signing up for this film and then he gets stabbed...because he signed up for this film. pic.twitter.com/aEy9tOgHKa— Sahil Shah 🇮🇳 (@SahilBulla) April 29, 2022
Nawaz is a crazy guy...how do we know this? He puts lipstick. Maybe he's just an evil guy with sociopathic tendencies...or maybe it's Maybelline. pic.twitter.com/hsNc4ztDnD— Sahil Shah 🇮🇳 (@SahilBulla) April 29, 2022
I mean, if Saif Ali Khan can do Humshakals, why wouldn't Bollywood drag down a powerhouse of talent like Nawazuddin to this level.
Tiger Shroff is introduced. He's doing his best 'The watch hands spinning when you change the time' impression. Also his name is Bablu. HAHAHHAHA 'The name is Lu...Bablu...Agent Zero Zero Shaven'. If I was the villain I'd spend 30 minutes just laughing after meeting him. pic.twitter.com/HgQ3Qc1vGu— Sahil Shah 🇮🇳 (@SahilBulla) April 29, 2022
Does Tiger Shroff not have bones? Is he a lizard?
Tara Sutaria is introduced. She does her impression of 'I am love interest but also eye candy. No purpose here'. They are surrounded at a party by zombies...most likely people who died while watching this movie. pic.twitter.com/oMGMmLh3hg— Sahil Shah 🇮🇳 (@SahilBulla) April 29, 2022
Ahh Tara Sutaria, Bollywood's eternal arm-candy. Maybe she should return to her Disney channel days because she did more acting in one episode than her entire film career. Range for the young actor is only limited to her wardrobe choices.
They got AR Rehman to make the music. This song has lyrics called "FA KAR". Sometimes I guess even the most legendary composers have to do things for money. I'm sure while writing these he must be going "Loved Ya" pic.twitter.com/RKXeXXoFtH— Sahil Shah 🇮🇳 (@SahilBulla) April 29, 2022
Why does Tiger look like the king of Narnia?
This scene. A random porn types nurse tells him to pull down his pants. He does it. THERE IS A HORSE NEIGHING SOUND EFFECT. WHY HORSE? HE IS FUKIN TIGER BRO! And then he shows his chads...cause Hero-Panty. WOO I PEAKED AS A WRITER (Still a better line than the dialogues here) pic.twitter.com/5V7NMUwRIU— Sahil Shah 🇮🇳 (@SahilBulla) April 29, 2022
This isn't even soft porn, it's just an excuse to show off his thighs cause why invest time in acting classes when you can buff them legs at the gym. It's not like he's an actor or anything.
Tiger then avoids a bunch of Katana wielding Ninjas...BUT WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE TWO IN THE BACK DOING. THEY ARE STANDING ON THE WALL. IS THIS WHAT THE TWO PETER PARKERS DID WHEN THEY WENT BACK TO THEIR DIMENSIONS? FREELANCE NINJAS? pic.twitter.com/OvrNkm5x7U— Sahil Shah 🇮🇳 (@SahilBulla) April 29, 2022
Tiger catches a grenade. It explodes. He's fine. His clothes are torn...because he needed another creative way to tear his clothes and show his body. Dude this scene is like a cartoon...what did you think of the audience...ki woh choti bachi hai kya? pic.twitter.com/vXMb3jrfVy— Sahil Shah 🇮🇳 (@SahilBulla) April 29, 2022
Not only a lizard-man, but Tiger is also a good conductor of heat.
Movie rips of Harry Potter chess scene...but instead of playing Chess...Tiger just kicks everything. I wish he was in Hogwarts...Harry Parkour, the boy who kicked.— Sahil Shah 🇮🇳 (@SahilBulla) April 29, 2022
Dumledore: Where's he somersaulting? And after all the time?
Snape: Hallways. pic.twitter.com/3BEwzq4hG1
I wish Tiger would return to his true self and go back to doing bona fide acting like his performance in The Life Of Pi.
Oh they tear of his clothes. Wow. Much surprise. I feel bad for this films costume department. JUST HAVE ONE MOVIE WHERE YOU WEAR YOUR CLOTHES THROUGHOUT NO TIGER? pic.twitter.com/sMPxzzcWoD— Sahil Shah 🇮🇳 (@SahilBulla) April 29, 2022
In conclusion I would like to say, what the fuck?
All in all. I think I'm going get SUPER drunk and go watch Heropanti 2 and why not...if they abused substances while making this then the audience too should be drunk to enjoy it. I hope you enjoyed this thread. PLS DO RT and help me spread "SAVE THE TIGER'S CLOTHES AWARENESS"— Sahil Shah 🇮🇳 (@SahilBulla) April 29, 2022