No matter how nice you are, there will always be some people you want to send to another planet so that you never have to see them again. And that faraway place will have people ranging from your cheating ex to your nosy neighbors.

So the next time you feel tempted to say “You suck, Fuck off”, to anyone, wish these things upon them instead.

1. May you always get surge pricing on cabs.

2. May you always get lots of elaichi in your biryani.

3. May your crush finally call you and there be no network.

4. May your biscuit always fall into your tea.

5. May your condom break every time you have sex.

6. May your tattoo artist misspell your tat.

7. May you go on a diet and still look fat.

8. May you get bit every time you pet a dog.

9. May your parents walk in on you while you are doing it.

 10. May you go to a fancy restaurant and eat a lot only to find that your card isn’t working.

11. May someone’s luggage always fall on you while travelling.

12. May you go for a silent fart and make a bust ass noise.

13. May you never get a parking spot.

14. May you poop at your workplace and the flush doesn’t work.

15. May you never get your size during sale.

16. May you develop an allergy to your favorite food.

17. May your net connection go off every time you masturbate to porn.

18. May your milk go bad every time you crave a hot chocolate.

19. May you gatecrash a shaadi that turns out to be a Jain wedding.

20. May you never get an armrest on flights or theaters.

21. May you get diarrhoea every time you go on a date.

22. May your maid always leave the fan off after doing jhaadu-pocha.

23. May you have a constantly itchy back.

24. May you always get stuck in never-ending traffic.