Of all the games people play, love has to be the most difficult. For many of us, no matter how hard we try, we just suck at dating! Mind you, we are awesome otherwise, but somehow, on a date , everything that can possibly go wrong goes wrong. Our eyes and hands start doing weird things, words come out very wrong and we just don’t understand what we’re doing.
If you have a history of dating malfunctions, you will understand how traumatic these situations can be, for you and for your date:
1.You don’t know how to flirt. When you try, it just turns out creepy.
2. You go wrong with eye contact all the time. Either you stare uncomfortably or try not to look into the eyes and end up looking at the wrong places.
3. Everything goes wrong because you get too nervous. You start stammering, spill things, and then you sweat grossly.
4. You always end up choosing very inappropriate places for a date: places that are either too crowded or too secluded, too shady or too expensive.
5. For you, going on a date is like sitting for a langar . Leave alone buying gifts for your date, you are too broke to get the bill or to even go Dutch.
6. You always keep your date waiting. And then come up with the lamest excuse for it.
7. During a date, you are more into your smartphone than your date.
8. Compliments confuse you. You neither know how to compliment someone, nor how to react when you get one.
9. Your dating advisor is Google. Your friends have given up wingmanning you, because they’ve realized it’s pointless.
10. Even after it has failed every single time, you still use pick-up lines.
11. You want to do ‘something special’ for your date. But you don’t understand what that means.
12. You can’t decide whether to shake hands or hug or kiss, and it turns into something awkward every time.
13. You keep getting called/calling your date ‘bhaiyya.’
14. You can’t stop talking about your how awesome or how sad your life is. You don’t even notice when your date hasn’t said a thing in over an hour!
15. You don’t know how to respond to ‘I love you.’
16. Coincidentally , all your dates get a call in the middle of your date and have to leave because of some or the other ’emergency.’