You know why ‘extremely’ starts with ‘ex’? Because that’s how annoying they are.

And lately, mine has been hell bent on proving that. 

So I have to say this: Buddy I know it has been a while since anyone of us have had the chance to go out, but just because you are getting bored, doesn’t mean you should reach out to me. 

You gotta stop texting. 

Oh, ‘texting’ also has ‘ex’. Turns out you’re everywhere, including my all my inboxes.

Which is why I want to get one thing straight, I am not interested in you anymore. Hence, you can stop sending me random memes at night saying ‘thought you will find it funny’, or old pictures of places we used to visit, saying ‘reminded me of you’.

Kya karun main is information ka?

At 3 AM, what am I supposed to do if you have suddenly started missing how we used to stop at Naturals to have sitaphal ice cream?

But you don’t get it. You expect a response.

As you do after reacting to my Instagram stories. You make me wish I had blocked you and done all the petty things that come naturally to me. I didn’t though, I thought I am better than that.

But just because I have given you the privilege to follow me, doesn’t mean you can get involved in things. 

It isn’t an invitation to react 👏 on my daaru stories.

Nor does it give you the license to ask questions like did you shift? 

Yes, why? You wanted to visit or what? To make me relive the trauma?

And don’t even get me started about Facebook. One more time you tag me in a memory, I am going to remove you from my friend-list.

People know we have broken up. Do you realise this will confuse them? What if the rumours of our patch up start? 

Transaprency is also something.

And it’s funny to think that you are the same person who used to take hours to give a single-word reply. 

Tab video games khelne hote the.

Well, why don’t you play video games now? You have all the time in the world!

You even had the audacity to leave me on read, something I still don’t do. I see your messages on the notification bar and ignore them. 

It’s called manners, look it up.

I think I didn’t treat you as nicely as I should have.

I miss you.

Just want you as my friend.

Stop. Saying. All. This.

Yes you should have treated me better, you miss me only because you are lonely and sure as hell you don’t want to be ‘just friends’.

So please leave me alone. I have many things to worry about right now and I’d prefer if you go, eat sitaphal ice cream and mind your own business.