Ae machchar, tujhe kaatna hai toh kaat, gaana mat ga mere kaan mein!

For the longest time I thought buzzing is some sort of sadistic pleasure mosquitoes derive out of annoying the most evolved species on the planet. 

I later discovered it is a mating tactic.

What did you think, we won't find out all the naughty stuff you're up to? Itna science hum ne aise hi develop kiya hai?

I am all for your love, but you guys really need to find a room, and that room is definitely not mine. Also, no need to rub your exciting lives in our faces (read ears) like this.

Rubbing reminds me, can you not tell we hate you from all the products we put on our skin? There is an entire industry thriving on this hate. 

You are contributing to capitalism by merely existing. Poor are becoming poorer, rich are becoming richer. Does this make you feel bad? No, you just want to mate.

Source: ABC News

You know, sometimes I feel God created you only to make us more humble. It's like, 'you can send a rocket to Mars? Great! Now try to kill a mosquito before it flies off'.

While that seems like a good strategy, given we can be assholes sometimes, a few humans are actually nice. So, like, find your prey smartly man. 

Source: wiki How

Go bite that girl who took my favourite strawberry eraser in class 5 and never returned. Bite the relative who keeps forcing me to get married. Bite these people. I am simply trying to live my life here, why are you biting me? 

Source: Pest Hacks

A study (yes, we have done studies on you - happy now?) suggests that you choose your target through the CO2 they emit while breathing out. This is followed by some strange ideas about what works for you and what doesn't. 

WTF is this haan? Should we stop breathing? Also, you're more vague with your 'eligibility criteria' than most matrimonial ads.  

Source: Smithsonian Mag

And no one has used their size as a power more than you. You enter through nets, fly through finger gaps, escape the mosquito bat. That's one thing to learn from you I guess, how to turn everything into a superpower.

So all in all, enjoy your existence, but stay away from me. Also, ask your relative makkhi to fuck off.