Ekta Kapoor is undoubtedly the queen of television. Her soap operas have revolutionized the everyday Indian's TV experience. She shows families that are breaking apart, dis-cordial in-laws, greedy siblings, evil plotting relatives, death, devastation, vamps, some more death... Okay. I am beginning to see a pattern here.

1. Ekta has easily plotted more murders than anyone in the history of Indian television. She, however,  started her career off with 'Hum Paanch', which was a comedy revolving around a dead mother who talks from a photo frame and her step kids, who are in general, crazy. Sweet!

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2. Statistically, the more people she kills, the more successful her serials become. And she grows wealthier than ever. I'm not saying Satan is definitely rewarding her for the service, but one cannot deny the logic completely.

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3. Ekta brings back the dead almost as often as she kills them off. And the thus risen are notably stronger and evil-ler than ever before.

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4. Here are some of Ekta's movies, just for fun.

'Ek Thi Daayan' - Story of a chudail

'Krishna Cottage' - Story of a chudail in a cottage

'Ragini MMS' - Story of a chudail in a pornstar's body

There are more, but you get the point.

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5. Satan worshippers are known to be total pervs.On a totally different subject, let's look at a visual from an Ekta Kapoor movie.

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6. Inflicting misery on the happiest of occasions is something Satan and George R.R. Martin love to do.Ekta shows something horrific on every happy occasion.

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7. She does not believe in logic or Science or any of that bullshit. Also, incidentally, evil happens to win every time in her stories. If something good happens, rest assured, it's not over.

Typical, I say!

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8. She happens to be a compulsive liar. In none of her interviews will you find her accepting anything. Here, Ekta can be seen, not accepting an offering from her brother.

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9. She's the opposite of Simi Grewal in that, she is always wearing something black.

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10. Conjurers of the dark spirits are known for their evil looks. Here is a typical look of a devil worshiper.

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11. She has a special affection for the letter 'K'. Some say it's numerology. Others say it goes back to the ancient rune alphabet where 'k' was the most important. I am one of those other people.

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As you can see, there is clearly a K hidden in there.

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Legend has it, Ekta always pays her employees with cheques worth Rs. 666 each. It is probably just an urban legend, but you can never be too sure! Enjoy watching TV, you servants of the devil!

Just to be sure, all this has been written in jest. ;)